Its Not Summer Anymore

Chapter 16

"My dearest Kitty,

You have open this letter because for some reason that I do not know you think I'm not thinking of you. Well, truth be told I think of you till my head can not stand the pain any longer, the pain of not being able to kiss your soft, sweet, lovely lips. I think of the first time I saw your beautiful smile and the way your eyes sparkled with excitement even though you lost half the blood out of your body that day. I think about the time I asked you out and how happy I was when the word "yes." came out of your mouth. I think about the time we got in that horrible accident and we both remember you not being in the car. I think about how much of a cowered I was not fighting for you over the phone that day you called me wondering where I was on Christmas. And the biggest thing I think about is the day I saw that perfect face of yours destroyed by that devil of a boy. And how badly I wanted to ran hell down on him with every ounce of strength I had. But for you and only for you I didn't.

And now I know that something bad has happened and that's why you have opened this letter. Because I know for a fact that you know, no matter what somebody says that I am always thinking of you and you the same. Since I do not know what happened and I can't be there to help you through. I can give you hope. Hope that it will get better. Hope to guide you through this rough time. Hope that you will see me soon, and hope that we while work out any and I do mean any problem you may bring home with you. So I beg you take this hope and use it, till we see each other and I can replace this hope with love, which is much stronger then hope. I will see you soon, my love.

Your knight,

Derrick "

I wanted to cry after reading this letter I wanted so badly to poor out everything on my pillow, but I had already done that and I had no more tears left. I could of been the saddest person on earth and not be able to cry because I already did for hours and hours today. I didn't get out of bed once, I didn't eat anything, and I haven't said anything for 10 hours. I just laid in bed half dead for 24 hours, I haven't slept for 2 days and haven't felt anything but pain for a hell of a lot longer. People think having a baby is the greatest thing on the earth. Well, I did too but then I started thinking. And when I start thinking hell is brought to earth and it is almost in possible to shove it back to the under world. As I lay there in bed letting hell come to earth. I think about this tiny little thing inside me. Getting bigger at every breath I take. Well, what if I stopped, what if that tiny thing stopped growing. How would it feel?It would be so much easier. Wouldn't it?

But then some how, in some way I push that hell back to the under world. And think about that tiny thing growing in me and how much I could love it and care for it and how I've always wanted a child. And how crazy it is to think that it would be mine. How could that child be mine? Just 2 weeks ago I was in West Virginia with Derrick.

Oh, Derrick. I ruined us I ruin everything. Why did I have to ruin everything good in my life. What would he think of the baby. Would he hate me if it was his. Or would he hate me if it was Tyler's. What if it was Tyler's how am I suppose to carry my ex's baby and be with another guy. What would people think? Here its normal for teens to be pregnant but West Virginia is the most religious state. Its a sin to be pregnant before 20. What if my family turns there back on me. What if my mom stops loving me because its Tyler's instead of Derrick's. And right when I thought I couldn't cry anymore I was wrong.

*********The Next Day**********

"Katelyn, honey you got to go to school." My mom says trying to be sweet about it. "Okay." I whisper I put on a long tank top and galaxy leggings. I get on the bus and everyone is staring at me. I know I look bad but they don't have to stare. I sit in my regular spot as the whole bus goes silent. Jasmine looks over at me and then looks at everybody else on the bus staring at me. "What's your problem?" she says to the thousands of eyes. They all snapped back to the front of the bus and it became loud again. "Thanks." I say to Jasmine sitting down next to her. "Sure." she said grabbing my backpack off my lap and stuffing it behind her. "So what I miss. Anything important." I say widening my eyes. "Not really, same old boring school." she says pulling on a loose string on her shirt. "Do I have a lot of homework." I say worried. "Nope." she says standing up ready to get off the bus.