How I Married My Bias

CHAPTER 5

I woke up and realize that I fell asleep on my work desk. I stood up and I could feel my neck aching. I threw myself in my bed and I just seem to space out.

I stared at my ceiling and wondered where did those little glow-in-the-dark stars go? I glanced on my window and wondered how come I never opened it?

I smelled the air and wondered why there never was a smell of 'sinangag' in the morning? I wondered, how come I missed home so badly.

I decided to go for a walk. I grabbed my phone and my coat and headed outside. Just a few walks away from my apartment, there's a small park overlooking a man-made pond.

I seldom come here for many reasons. Actually, I hate it here and now I wondered why I've come. I saw two girls riding a bike, their hair flowing with the wind and smiles carved in their faces.

I thought, its been a while since I've rode one. I rent a bike and I biked around. As I rode past all the things in that park, I began to wonder, to figure out some things in my life.

Sometimes, I think I don't even know myself, my purpose, my worth. All along I thought I had it figured out but it turned out I didn't. Back in the Philippines, I was so sure I'll be spending my life with books.

I was so sure I had my heart set on living in Korea. But now, I began to wonder, what if I never left? What if I pursued being an engineer? Would things be any different?

I guess it's too late to turn back now that I've come so far. I guess one has to live with the consequences of the choice he makes and that's what I'll do.

I parked the bike outside the renting booth. I sit down on a bench near the pond and grabbed my journal and began scribbling down.

The last entry on this diary was last year, when I had my first book. I was the kind of person who believes that diary isn't a daily thing.

I only wrote things in it when something really special or really worth remembering happened. I began writing down all the things I thought about while biking, about myself, about knowing who I am and what I want and figuring what I'll gonna do for the rest of my life.

The feelings just keep coming out. Like a container full of water, my thoughts spilled out. I stopped in the middle of it and thought that this is no good for me.

I shall not remember the day I doubted myself. I tear the paper up and crumpled it. I decided that I should be really get going. I have a book to start and a whole life to live.

As I walked home, a bunch of girls with posters and stuff stormed a black van. Fangirls, I thought. I used to remember the day I was also one of them.

But I never stormed a van before, or go screaming the way they do. I just admired my idols from a distance, but still loving them with all I am.

The warm air of my room greeted me as I went inside. It was chilly outside but not so cold as the days before. I dropped my bag on my bed and took of my coat.

It was a fair day and I thought of opening my window for a change. I sat down on my work desk and opened my laptop. I began typing down.

Minutes later, I received a message. It was from the staff. It had all the information about the boys like real name, address, birthdate. I know most the info's. But there are some that I didn't know.

What caught my eye was Wonwoo's infos. Of course it would catch my attention since he's my bias but all reasons aside, I just can't help but wonder about him.

He was so mysterious. He seldom smiles but when he did, it was the sweetest. He seldom talks but when he did, it was the funniest. He was funny and cool without even trying and maybe that's why I loved him without even knowing.

Wonwoo was like a deep sea, an ocean even. When you look at the ocean, all you can see was blue ripples and waves. But underneath it was a deeper plethora of wonderful things.

Wonwoo might be cold and mysterious looking but he has wonderful things inside. But an ocean has secrets buried in its heart too. It was buried so deep that you will never see it.

I wondered, what might be Wonwoo's fears, his pain, his problems. No one ever asked him, so he will never tell.

By noon time, I finished 4 chapter of the book. It contained mainly facts about the boys. I was too tired to fix lunch so I called a Chinese place I knew and ordered.

The delivery arrived 23 seconds late but still piping hot. I watched Seventeen's One Fine Day all over again as I eat my meal.

It's unbelievable that I still find it quiet funny even after watching it maybe a hundred times.

I laughed so hard during their jegi game when Wonwoo scored zero that I accidentally kicked my bag out of my bed. I paused the video to pick my bag.

Out of all the things that spilled out of the bag, I found something peculiar. I forgot about the book I was supposed to read. I put my bag down on my chair by the work desk and threw myself on my bed with the book.

I decided that I'll quit watching and read instead. All afternoon, I engaged myself to a meaningful reading. The book was awesome. It took me back when I was just a kid. I use to spend summers in the farm too.

I finished reading half of the book by sundown. I decided to cook dinner for myself since I had ordered food for lunch. By 9 pm, I continued working on the book. Watching One fine Day all over again gave me a few ideas to include.

The room was quiet except for the sound of my keyboard clicking as I put down into words the feelings I had in mind. I paused for a while to giggle at something. A few minutes later I received a message.

It was Divina. She reminded me of the Seventeen Performance we were attending on Thursday. Actually I'm quite excited.

I can almost imagine the condition of Divina's room right now. She'd be ransacking through her closets and all her shoes would be on the floor. After rummaging through her things she would throw herself in her bed and complain how she can't even decide what to wear.

My neck still aches and my eyes are weary. I think I've had enough of typing already. I lay on my bed. I caught glance of the book on my bedside table.

I decided to finish the book tonight. The Locket was amazing. It was tragic yet it brings so many emotions to the readers. I didn't cry but I am courageous enough to admit that I shed a few tears. A few pages more and I'll be finished with the book.

As I lay on my bed, thoughts still sunken in the book, I felt a cold breeze. I realized that I left the window open. I stood up and peeked outside.

It was a quiet evening. There are a few people in the streets. Nights like these gives off a somewhat somber feeling. I closed the window.

But just before I completely closed the curtains, I think I saw a dark silhouette outside. For a split second I think I saw Wonwoo right outside. But the idea was so ridiculous that I can't believe my own eyes.

I opened the curtain again. There was nothing.

I was frozen. A massive chill of something I have never known before run down my spine. I could be wrong but I could also be right. It could be Wonwoo down there just seconds ago or some random stranger only.

One thing is for sure, I'll have a hard time sleeping tonight.