How I Married My Bias

CHAPTER 12

"That's my book. How did you . . ."

I started and tried to get the book off his hands but he suddenly sat down on the floor.

He leaned his back on the bookshelf, legs crossed. He patted on the space beside him. I was still shocked and all but I don't want him to take me for an idiot so I sat down.

I need to gather myself together. I'm the author of the book he was reading and I need to show some professionalism and treat him like he's my reader and not my ultimate bias.

"I would like to know why," he turned to me as he said the last word. "What was the story behind this?"

I don't know how to react instead my mind floated down memory lane and reminisce to answer his question.

Then an ancient pain creep down on me - a pain I thought I had long overcome. He sighed, letting a deep breath out. Before I could even spoke, he landed his hand over mine.

"I don't know your story or why you wrote the book but through this I found refuge. It was a reflection of mine, and maybe that's why I felt so connected to the author of this book as much as anyone else."

Then his eyes met mine. I looked at him as soon as he said those words. I felt like crying, emotions all mixed up like a huge fire in my chest and I can't help but just blurt it out.

But I fought it, as hard as I could because I don't want people to see me cry. I don't want them to see me at my weakest point. I don't want to cry especially in front of him.

"I know you're feeling uneasy, awkward even. But, know that I am as much indebted to you and your work as much as I wanted you to treat me like how people treat other people the usual way." He said.

And with those words from him, I found the greatest comfort.

He opened the book to a page that was folded. Then he began to read.

"The way I figured it out, everybody has a choice.
You could be anything you can ever think you could be in one lifetime but in the end it all comes back to a choice. The day I choose to be a writer was the day that I decide the rest of my life.
I figured out that there's always been an invisible line between things you want to be and things people want you to be. Tough choices are made by tough people. I wanted my parents to see the person they've always want me to be but I also want me to be exactly who I am. And that's what this choice is all about and I, for once, never regret the choices I made. I will say this one last time, for these words see me through all the times in my life. There are no bigger barriers if you have much bigger dreams, keep striving."

Then he finished, folded the page back up again and closed the book with a soft thud.

Then he sighed letting out gushes of warmness against the cold air that hung around that bookshelf alley.

I realized how wonderful my words sound to my own ears not to brag about it or anything but mainly because it perfectly reflected what I am feeling.

"That was my favorite part." He started. "It meant a lot of things and I can say that it welcomed change into my life."

I looked at him, straight into his eyes. I wasn't feeling awkward or uneasy. I looked at him like he was someone that I haven't seen in a long time.

And after a long time of silence, I spoke - words came out like I was talking to myself.

"I wrote that book years ago, back when I was still in college. But the chance to publish it came when I went here." I started talking and for once I felt comfortable.

"My parents didn't want me to write. They wanted something else for me and all the people around me just keep following orders blindly and forgot that they had their own choices too." I started.

"BUT THEN I CHOSE TO BE DIFFERENT."
We said in perfect unison then looked at each other and smiled.

"My parents supported me in my career as an artist. And I think I am lucky having such support knowing that some people like you had been deprived of such fortune." He said.

"But there are some moments, some point in my life when I stop and think about what lies ahead of me. Like you said, there's always been an invisible line between things you want to be and things people want you to be." He said.

I nodded. I always thought he was special, I always thought that there was a chapter of Wonwoo's life that he doesn't read aloud. There are chapters of his life that the cameras can't see.

"I had fun being a Seventeen member. It was really a roller coaster ride filled with laughter, fun, tears and everything in between. But just like all roller coasters, that ride will end no matter how much fun it is. And it scares me, thinking that the roller coaster ride that me and the other members had was about to end." He said with a voice that I didn't know he had.

"I'm scared of what lies ahead of me when that ride was over." He said.

"If it was fun and if it made you happy, then why choose to end it? Why not buy another ticket and have another ride?" I answered.

Then his serious face turned to a giggle - the kind that made his nose crinkle a bit and the corners of his lips shiver.

"See, that's why I wanted to talk to you. I think I needed a little bit more of talks like these. You're really everything I imagined you would be." He said then flashed a smile.