My Way? - Laurance x Reader (PDH Version)

9 - Emotions Suck

Chapter 9 - Emotions Suck

*Your POV*

It's been two weeks now and I think it's safe to say that I'm finally okay. Although I still don't know how to go up to my friends and come up with an excuse... I mean, it's not like I can go up to them and say "Hey, guys! I'm okay now so let's just pretend like nothing happened!" That's just dumb.

But I already got used to those two weeks of being alone. Whenever we need to get a group or partner up, they still wait for me and the same thing just happens. We don't talk or anything but we do what we need to do. I know, I'm the worst friend--PERSON ever. It's like I'm using my awesome friends!

Ivy isn't helping, either. She just teases me and stuff and I'm just there, staring at her but whatever. I don't answer to her because what's the point?

I'm on my way home right now with Eyanne and halfway there. We don't talk much but we do, just not often. But she started a conversation.

"I haven't seen you with Aphmau and the gang lately.." She almost so casually said.

"You just noticed that?" I answer coldly.

She stopped in her tracks and faced me. I did the same.

"You're still avoiding them? (Y/n) it's already been two weeks since Dad's death, you have to move on!"

"Calm down, I'm fine now. I just...want it to be this way, that's all."

She rolled our mom's grey eyes. "This is ridiculous. YOU want it to be THAT way?! You think I would be fooled by THAT?!"

"I don't need to fool anyone, Eyanne. Now let's go." I passed her and went on with walking.

She caught on but kept talking. "(Y/n) you're being absolutely ridiculous! We know that you were closest to Dad but he didn't die for a bad purpose. He died because he fought in the civil war happening at south. Not because he committed suicide, got shot, got executed or anything. And if anything, you should be glad by that."

"Eyanne I'm not gonna deal with this. YOU'RE the one being ridiculous. I'm freaking okay, okay? Let's go."

She stopped but I kept going. "Then why are you avoiding your friends?"

I didn't look at her. "Let's go, Eyanne." I was already being stern.

"You haven't even TOLD them yet! Violet, Hyron and Royale already know about it but YOU haven't told even Lucinda, Aphmau, Cadenza, even Laurance!"

I faced her. I'm pretty sure I was red. Maybe with anger and frustration, or the fact that I'm holding back my tears. "SHUT UP! You DON'T know why and you don't HAVE to know. Do whatever you want. I'm going home." And with that, I left her there.

Me and Eyanne may not be close, but this is the first real fight we've had. And the first time I yelled at her when it's not calling her for dinner or when I call for her from afar. I was just pissed.

Why is it that she can't understand that I'm not as strong as she is! And she has NO idea how much I wish to be like her. That I'd love to be HER role model. But I'm not. And I'm weak...

~

I've locked my room the first time again in the two weeks. And I was doing so much better too.

But at Eyanne's mention of my friends, I looked at my phone. I've been using it, but I turned off notifications and haven't been on social media.