1:00am 7/23
why am I still thinking about you
1:18am 7/23
I hate myself for caring about you. I destroyed my life for you and I thought everything was going to be okay but you turn around and choose her. you tell me you're sorry and I can't help but accept it because I'm stupid enough to love you when you don't love me. second grade. I can't believe I was dumb enough to believe this would work. I hate myself for caring.
4:47am 7/23
all the songs I listen to remind me of you. I wish I didn't like you. you've broken me in unimaginable ways. and yet I'd do anything to be yours. that's not exactly correct. I am yours, you just don't want me. you want her. and I have to pretend like I'm okay with that.
4:52am 7/23
I'm terrified of the fact that I've fallen for someone who fell for someone else. am I not good enough for you? what does she have that I don't? I broke everything I had to finally get my Romeo and it turns out you already have a Juliet. I wish I could just stop feeling because that would make this a lot easier.
5:14pm 7/23
I'm in the air. miles away from the earth and miles away from you and yet that's all I can think about. not this beautiful creation I'm looking down on, I'm thinking about you. music doesn't help. what am I doing wrong? I messed up somewhere for you to choose her over me. I am torn. you've destroyed me. I don't have the strength to tell you how I feel.
5:17 7/23
I hate you.
5:43 7/23
we're landing and all I can do is think about how happy I'd be if you chose me. choose me please. I can't breathe right. I don't hate you I could never hate you. choose me or stop making me want you so badly. I want to move on.
1:23am 7/25
I am destroying myself slowly by talking to you and opening up. I wish I could say no but I am stupid enough to to love you so much that id tell you anything and everything. I hate myself.
4:06pm 7/27
I have stopped thinking of you in the way I used to. you love Her. I know this. I need to start believing it. Band camp starts soon and I know it'll help me forget about you. my mom asked about you. She called you Muffen, like I used to. Your name is Matt now. I will not have a nickname for someone that broke me into pieces I'm still trying to pick up.
10:04 am 7/31
I am over you. your name does not give me butterflies anymore. I am no longer attached to you. I am free.
