today, i walked in on my sister and my mom talking about me behind closed doors. initially, i was there with a laser pointer and i was going to play a trick. but then i heard them. i have become a problem. a nuisance. it's all been reduced to me becoming the stupid girl with a stupid dream of going to Stillwater. they think i'm naive. they think i don't know what it will cost. trust me mother, i know. i've known what it will cost since the day madeline made a C. since the day you became okay with it. since the day i got punished for making a B while madeline made Cs regularly. i've known what it costs when i ripped into my skin after getting a bad score. i've known what it cost since going to therapy for years and pretending everything was okay so you would stop worrying. i've known what it would cost when i stayed up for hours every night doing homework and studying so i could keep my straight A's to make sure you didn't focus on me when you got mad. i fucking hate this. it'll be over soon.
