Moving On Is Hard [Trilogy]

Reminiscing

Sorry for the wait! No editing. Good Luck. Enjoy!

I kinda sorta felt like 'Bye Bye' by Mariah Carey goes with this chapter, it's in the mm box if you wanna hear it.

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::Issa::

“Can you drop me off my house?” I asked Taina. “Yeah sure.” After that we continued to drive in silence. That girl at the cemetery seemed nice, but I’m not about to jump back into no relationship, she might’ve been cool and all, but right now I need time to myself, and to make sure moving on is something I want to do for me, and not something I need out of vulnerability. Tiana would probably want me to move on, but I don’t think that’s something I’ll ever be able to do, she has my heart, and she always will, no one will ever take her place. Wait… why the hell am I talking about moving on already??? I just found out… again, that my girlfriend is dead, and I just visited her grave, fuck any other female that comes into my life at this point. If it wasn’t for Isa and ma dukes, I would probably take my own life right now, that’s just how much I love (yes, I said ‘love’ and not ‘loved’ because I always will) Tiana. It’s unreal that Tiana is gone, one day I’m gonna wake up, and this’ll all be one horrible nightmare, or one day Ashton Kutcher is gonna jump out with cameras from somewhere and tell me I’ve been punk’d, and release me from this painful prank, shit this ain’t funny.

When we pulled up to my house, I mumbled out a thanks, and walked inside my house. I stood in the middle of the living room, the house was too quiet, no Isa, no Tiana, nobody but me…all over again. I sighed and made my way into the kitchen. Kinda weird coming in here, and not smell anything cooking. I sat the notebook on the table and went into the fridge and grabbed a blue Powerade, my athlete bought a whole case, too bad she didn’t get to drink any of ‘em. I went to the table, and flipped through the notebook, until I saw my name written largely on one of the pages. “Who gives a shit what day it is anymore???? I sure as hell don’t, I miss ISSA!!!!!!!!! Lol… kinda funny how we couldn’t stand (well I couldn’t) to be in the same room with each other, to us actually living together, I know he (and Taina) wants answers. I guess I’ll write ‘em down, now because I don’t know if I’ll ever get the chance to do so, since this bitch nigga going fuckin crazy. I was kidnapped by Quan with the help of Bobby (now that I think about it, I don’t think he really wanted to join in, but Quan has his ways). Quan won’t be releasing me until I sleep with him (I think that’s pure bullshit). I’ve gotten into with Quan (verbal and physical) so much, I’ve lost count. Quan’s mama visited once, but her slow ass didn’t even catch none of the hints I was throwing (smh). The police came, one officer knew how to do his job (I hope he gets me outta here), we started talking in codes a little. I was almost raped (the reason for the police visit), fat ass bitch didn’t know what was coming when I pulled that blade out. I was chained up like a wild animal, now I’m caged up like a zoo animal -__- just fucking great. Rod is here! Thank God! He was my favorite foster sibling, the rest of them bitches can hop off a cliff for I care, I got Rod out of SO much trouble when I stayed with his family, and now he’s helping me plan my escape (which is taking forever). So yeah, I think that’s enough of that, I’ll think of more questions later. Peace! Tee (hey! That should be my new nickname whenever I get outta this hellhole).” Wow! She really did go through hell, at least she wasn’t raped. I wish we could’ve figured this out sooner, but everything was happening so fast, and seemed so unreal that none of us was thinking straight, well except for Taina’s mama. We probably should’ve waited on her to plan her escape though, since she knew how to handle the situation better, maybe then she would still be here, and we would be joking about something random, most likely about her beating Quan’s ass. I let out a soft chuckle at the thought, I couldn’t imagine her actually fighting, she was always so chill unless she was pissed, but even then she didn’t abuse anybody in anyway, well except maybe verbally. He must’ve really got to her. I closed the book, and took that and my drink upstairs. This blue Powerade is nasty as hell, I don’t see how she just sits around and drink it, I should’ve grabbed a red or purple one, but since I opened I’ll drink it. I sat the notebook on my dresser, and laid back on my bed, until I felt a lump under my pillow. I reached under, and pulled out the video camera. At least I still have the opportunity to hear her voice, and see her the few times she didn’t cover her face. I plugged the camera up to the t.v. (Tiana taught me!), and played it from where ever it left off. “Haaaacccccckkkkeeeeedddd!” she smiled into the camera before it was turned on me with a look on my face that was impossible to describe. “Today has been funny, but before I explain all of today’s events, let me explain why Issa has this look on his face” she giggled a little before continuing. “Today, after I told Issa I wasn’t cooking, I ran into the bathroom, then locked and blocked the door, so he wouldn’t come in. After I finished taking a shower, I stepped out, but left the water on, I got dressed with clothes I had already left in here, Issa didn’ know that. The clothes were easy to hide under the 6 towels I later wrapped myself in, which brings us back to this facial expression. I walked out the bathroom and he looked up at me with a smirk playing at his lips. After I put some lotion on, I walked to put it back, but I felt a towel being snatched off, and after 2 more he was more confused than ever” she laughed before she continued. “I told him that if he kept going he would get the surprise of his life, and he did, after snatching the remaining 3 towels off this look was left upon his face. He just discovered I had on my sleeping shorts and a cami, the sleeves just weren’t pulled up” she laughed again, and I stopped the video. I remember that day, she ended up admitting to stealing my phone during that little confessional too. I was definitely blessed to have her silly ass in my life. I pulled out my laptop (something I hadn’t been on in awhile), and opened it up, and Tiana’s face popped up. I swear she hacked into all my electronics, guess that’s what I get for dating a hacker, huh? The face she was making was ugly, but silly and she was holding up a sign that said “#Hacked… Lol!” I shook my head and went to youtube to see the turn out of the video we did, I never did look at the finished product, as a matter of fact, I don’t look at the finished product of none of my videos really. When it went off, I was amazed, she didn’t look nervous at all, well in one scene she did, but you couldn’t really tell unless she was close to you. I scrolled down to see how many comments it had, but unfortunately for my mood the top comments were shown first. “Damn! I didn’t know she could sing like that… a great singer in the making gone too soon #RIP.” Fuck! Who the hell was that anyway?????? And why did so many people have to like it????? I shut my laptop down, I didn’t even bother going to look at anything else, I had signed out of all my social media accounts on my phone, I didn’t need my phone blowing up with notifications. If I need to tweet something, I use my computer, if I wanna upload to Instagram, Tiana showed me how to do that too (that takes forever and a year tho). I laid back on the bed once again, and drifted off deeper into my thoughts, and eventually I found myself asleep.