Moving On Is Hard [Trilogy]

1 Year Later...

No editing... Good Luck! Enjoy :)

This is long overdue, but s/o to @Kimari11 for being my 100th fan

Song for the chapter: "Meant To Be" -TLC

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::Tiana::

Sometimes I wonder if I made the right choice. I miss my friends like crazy, but I couldn’t bring myself to turn my back on my child, I knew I would have seen her one day, but did that day have to be so soon???? It wasn’t until the day of my funeral that I realized the impact I made on my friends and family. Family. The one’s I had so deeply longed to be reunited with, the one’s I had finally found after years of searching, and I made the choice to end my life. I can’t believe what I’ve done, I guess that’s why I haven’t completely moved on and gone to Heaven. I needed to realize my mistakes, I needed to realize that I was probably thinking too hard about everything, and that maybe this was my last trial and tribulation, and that I failed the test by giving up on my life so easily. Guess I’ll never know now. I’ve seen how many meltdowns Tai has gone through, she does it privately, but it’s obvious Que can see through her façade. Tai has been trying to put on this front that she’s strong, but she’s slowly falling apart, she needs help, and hope she goes to the therapeutic rehab this time, Agyei won’t be able to help her out of this. Speaking of Agyei, she took the news hard as well, but she’s slowly getting better though. Que is doing everything he can to help Tai out although, he knows she will never be the same again. Issa, is a completely different story, he has fallen apart. Layla and I do everything we can to steer him in the right direction, but now his bad decisions are out weighing his good decisions, he needs help, but he’s shut everybody out. I can’t believe my friends’ lives have changed all because I so desperately wanted out of the hard life I was living, I just couldn’t do it anymore. I was tired of going through bad time after bad time, until finally I experienced the worst situation ever. I am truly sorry that I gave up, but it was just something I wanted to experience a stress free life for once. If I could just go back one last time, and apologize and tell them all I love them. My biological family is still taking it hard, and I should’ve thought about them as well before I made the decision, Allyson runs with me in her heart at all times, and has won all of her meets since the news was revealed to her. “Mommy, daddy is sleeping, can I go?” Layla asked in reference to visiting his dreams, she’s done it a few times, but all she ever does is eat ice cream. “Yeah, sure” I told as I walked over with her. “Are you coming?” she asked with hopeful eyes, but I can’t face him, even if it is just a dream. “Not this time either” I said as I kissed her forehead. “Ok” she said in a sad tone, and walked off, I sat down and watched her go to the table and eat her ice cream, as usual, I think that’s the only reason she ever wants to visit his dreams.

::Issa::

Life in the last year, has not been easy. I don’t give a fuck about anything anymore. I don’t go in the studio like I used to, shit I barely go in there at all, maybe once every 2-3 months. I don’t really talk to anybody anymore, all they do is piss me the hell off. Ricki’s selfish ass let me keep Isa for 2 months, and when I sent Isa back to visit Ricki, she kept Isa, and I haven’t seen her physically since. My days are gray, and I’ve started drinking and smoking weed, so when money start gettin tight, I clean up my act and hit the studio, once I do a few shows and release a song or two, I come back into the house and shut the world out. Even ma dukes dun started pissing me off, talkin bout I need to go get help, fuck that, I do whatever the hell I need to. Until Tiana personally tells me to clean up, and get myself together, I don’t give a fuck about what anybody has to say to me. At one point, I had completely given up on rapping, and was about to become a career criminal, but right before I went to commit my first crime, I heard sirens, and I knew then it was a sign, so I just do the bare minimum to get by. Right now this loud got me feeling right, guess I’ll sleep this off.