Speak-Adopted by 5sos

Chapter 18 (Home Alone)

E L L A

It is currently 2 a.m.  I have been sitting in front of the mirror that's sits on the back of my bathroom door for almost 3 hours. 

This wasn't abnormal behavior, I had done this before.  I sit in front of a mirror for hours on end opening and closing my mouth, urging words to come out.

Nights like tonight were special.  Where I make a little bit of progress, like laughing with everyone at dinner.

After I see even an ounce of progress, I do this.  But it's not even worth it.  I just end up staying silent.  And then I work myself up about it.

I saw the tears staring to well up in my eyes as I stared at myself.  I watched as they cascaded down my cheek.  I didn't even bother to wipe them away.  I'm pathetic.

I let out an impatient sigh, finally giving up the fight.  It felt like a battle I would never win, no matter how hard I tried.

I climbed into my bed, pulling the covers up to my eyes.  Tears still escaped my eyes as I drifted into a peaceful sleep.

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I woke up with tear stains that were clearly visible.  I walked into my bathroom and washed my face, trying to get rid of any trace that I had been crying.  Once I was finished, I threw on a sweatshirt and headed downstairs.

The house was empty, which reminded me that everyone had something going on today.  I walked into the kitchen to find a not and a plate of pancakes on the counter.

The note read:

"Good morning Ella Bella! Bryana made you some pancakes for breakfast and there's some money under this note so you can go out and get yourself some lunch.  The boys and I will be back from the studio before dinner.  I love you and be safe!!
-Love Ashton <3"

I smiled to myself reading the perky note from Ashton.  I picked up the not and sure enough, there were two twenty dollar bills under it.  I left the money and the note on the counter, as I grabbed the plate of pancakes which were still warm. 

I brought them to the table and began eating in silence.  It was actually quite comforting.  I liked the serenity of silence.  Just because I was alone didn't mean I was lonely.  I liked it this way.  Like a little bit of time to myself.

Once I was finished I decided I should probably get ready. 

I went upstairs and took a shower and brushed my teeth.  I blow dried my hair and then straightened it.  I put on high waisted shorts that were light wash with rips, and then I put on a white crop top to finish off the look. 

I put on very light makeup.  Just mascara and some lipgloss.  I slipped on my white converse and put my phone in my pocket.

(A/N yes I know her phone was broken a few chapters ago but let's just say they got her a new one.)

I walked downstairs and sat on the couch trying to come up with something to do.  I decided I would just grab some cash and browse through the shops in downtown to see if anything interested me.

It was only like a 10 minute bus ride.  When the bus arrived at the stop I got off and looked around.  I hadn't really been downtown much before.  Bryana had taken me here once because she had an errand to run, but other than that I wasn't too familiar with my surroundings.

I started walking, noting some cute cafés I could go to for lunch.  I came across a cute store where you could make your own perfume.  When I walked in a was instantly greeted by a tropical smell.  I was the kind of person that likes everything to smell nice.