All Of Me//Sheo

Chapter nine: I want you

Shai's POV

Its been a few days since me and Theo kissed in my room. Up until today we haven't had any scenes to film together. Today we have the factionless scene where I meet Evelyn. Evelyn is played by Naomi Watts, who is an amazing actor.

I haven't talked to Theo yet, I've been thinking about what I will tell him. I've been thinking about if I really want him or not, and I do. I know it's wrong for me to do this but I at least have to be friends with Theo. My life is boring without him, these last few days prove that. I've been hiding out in my room watching Disney movies. I only go out of my room for filming or to get food. I haven't laughed that much without Theo. He's always the one to get me to laugh.

It's around 9 am when I decide to go over to Theo's. I have to talk to him before we film. It would be very unprofessional if we let this get in between us while filming, so why don't we get it done before hand.

If I'm being honest, I'm scared. I want Theo so bad but I can't have him. I need him as a friend at least. That kiss we shared made me want him even more, but he's taken, about to be married. And why would he choose me over Ruth, a beautiful woman. She has everything a guy wants, big boobs, big butt, and a beautiful face. I don't have any of that. I know I'm not ugly but I'm also not beautiful.

I eat my cereal while I look at y favorite blogs. I look at them every morning, they help keep up the positive energy, which has been hard lately. I scroll through some finding a good quote.

Don't let anyone define you, call you names, tell you who you are when your not. We are different, that's what makes the world go round. Don't let people form you into some one you don't want to be. If you want to be something, then do it, always remember, you do you.

My favorite saying, you do you. I said that at the 2014 teen choice awards. That's the saying I live by. I do me. I always will, I won't let anyone change me.

With that in mind I put my bowl into the sink and take a deep breath. Well here goes nothing.

I walk out into the empty, lighted hallway. I walk straight across to Theo's room. Taking a deep breath I knock on his door, hearing the familiar singing of Theo. I can hear him setting down his guitar and walking over to the door. As he opens the door I'm greeted by his familiar smell.

"Hi." I whisper, my breath being taken away by his appearance. He has bags under his eyes like he hasn't slept in days. His hair is ruffled, almost like he hasn't combed it in days.

"Shai." He breaths.

"Can we talk?" I clear my throat.

"Yea please come in." His voice sounds rougher then usual, still his American accent for the movie.

I walk into his room walking over to his couch. I sit down trying to figure out how to say what I want to say. Theo comes over to me and sits down, bringing me into his warm, muscular arms. Before I can start talking Theo cuts me off.

"Shai, I'm so sorry I kissed you. I can't help myself, I've wanted you for so long and once you told me you broke up with Nahko, I couldn't stop thinking about kissing you. Not for the movies and not for acting. I wanted to kiss you as Shai not Tris. Shai please at least be friends with me. You keep leaving and I can't sleep, I can't eat. Please baby." His words start to get mumbled but my hair.

"Theo." I pull away from him to look in his glorious eyes. " You can't do this, you have Ruth. I will be your friend but nothing more. I will not be the girl that breaks up a long time relationship. I'm sorry but I just can't. I'm not that kind of person." I start to feel the warm tears trickle down my cheeks. God why must I always cry when I get this way with Theo.

"I know I have Ruth but-"

"No Theo no but, you can't do that to Ruth. I know she hates me but she doesn't deserve that. She loves you Theo, and I know you love her." Tears slowly start to form in his eyes.

"I can't loose you." His whispers, closing his eyes.

"You won't loose me Theo." I tilt his chin up to look at me when he opens his eyes. "I love you Theo."

He takes in a deep breath "Do you really love me Shai?" He looks deep into my eyes, almost like he's seeing right through me.

"Yes Theo I really do love you." I pull him into a hug. Breathing in his scent, holding him close. I realize maybe we could be something more then friends, only if he's willing to choose me over Ruth.
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A/N

Soooooo sorry for the delay. It's been a very hectic few days and I start school tomorrow.......on my birthday 😒😒 funnnn.

anyways I gotta get to bed before I get in trouble

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