DEAD INSIDE

(37)

The silence that had fallen upon us after I'd stopped reading was deafening.

I wanted to cry, I wanted to shout but what would it have changed? It would certainly not erase my mother's faults or bring Sam back, so what was the point?

I could feel all their eyes on me and couldn't help but shrink back a little.

"She's right, you need to contact your Dad..." Mr. Tanner said.

Could I really forgive him that easily? My mother might have lied to me but had he cared for me as much as he did, he'd have come barging here, demanding to see me.

My father had always been really close to Sam and I. He used to take us on what he called father's dates when our Mom was working night shifts and those were always a blast. He never missed any of our games and generally spoiled us rotten.

That was why his walking away had been so painful. I guessed I understood why now but he should have tried harder to keep in touch with me.

My mother might have failed me big time with all her lies but so had he.

I went to get my father's letter on the coffee table and tore it open.

I didn't read it out loud this time.

Dear Ali,

I still haven't heard from you so I'm writing to check that you received my first letter. Your mother told me that she would tell you the whole truth after giving it to you, I hope she's kept her word this time.

I was about to buy a ticket to come and see you when I got a phone call from the retirement home where your Pop is staying at. He's not doing so well so I'm going to go there first and spend some time with him.

Here is my phone number. Call or text me as soon as you're done reading this letter.

I love you.

Daddy.

A chocked up sigh came out of my throat once I was done as memories of Santa Claus' twin – that was how I used to call my Grandad – flashed back to me.

Sam was scared of him. He seemed to always be grumpy but whenever he moaned, he'd always wink at me to show it was all a game to him. And my Mama would invariably mumble under her breath but get whatever he wanted.

He had the best stories as well.

Stories of sailors getting lost after storms, and stumbling upon treasures that made them targets of the most violent pirates there had ever been.

I used to love cuddling on his lap in front of the fireplace while he told us his stories.

I'd missed going to Seattle to visit them. I didn't even know he was at a retirement home.

I really hoped he got better soon.

"He's with my grandpa..." I muttered.

"Alison can stay at mine, my parents okayed it..." Gregory said from behind me, his hand holding my opened one tightly.

After raising a questioning eyebrow, the policeman looked deep into thoughts for a few seconds.

"Have you got good security?" He asked the light brown haired boy and I knew I should tell them that I didn't want to go back to his place but his thumb began tracing small circles on my palm, sending goosebumps all over my arm, totally short circuiting my thread of thoughts.

"Coded gate, video surveillance and the company has three men working shifts so if anything happened they'd reach my house in less than one minute..." He answered.