DEAD INSIDE

(42)

"Ali!" I just had the time to get out of the car before Moira and Philip crashed into me, hugging my waist tightly.

"Hi, guys!" I said, overwhelmed by how pleased they seemed to see me.

"We didn't believe it when Dad said you might come to visit us today..." Philip murmured, his eyes closed as he tightened his hold on me.

"I was thinking I could show you how to make that famous rainbow cake..." Mo's shriek brought tears to my eyes. "Are you up for it, Mister?" I asked the little boy, whose hold hadn't lessened.

I looked down at him and my heart broke when I saw his tear-streaked face. I bent down and wrapped him in my arms.

"Hey, what's with the tears, buddy?" I murmured in his blonde curls.

"I-I'm just happy to see you..." He stuttered.

"Well, I'm very happy to see you, too..." I said half-crying and half-smiling. "I'm not going anywhere, guys. I've talked to your Dad and I'm planning to come and see you regularly."

They both tightened their hold on me, if it was possible.

"Rainbow cake?" I asked a minute later.

"Rainbow cake!" Moira repeated, clapping her hands excitedly.

We spent the following hour measuring and mixing ingredients together. Mo was in charge of their cake while Lip had agreed to make the cake I'd bring back to the Hilton's afterwards.

"So what would you like to do next time I come?" I enquired as we waited for the cakes to cool down before icing them.

"It's Lip's turn to choose..." Mo said. She was covered with flour and even had some icing on her nose. The loving way she was looking at her brother made me think of Sam and of just how much I missed him.

The small boy was silent for a while, his big green eyes, lost into thoughts until I saw a flash of hope cross them.

"Do you think we could go swimming at the lake?" He asked tentatively.

Mo started clapping and jumping excitedly.

"Remember when Dad took us there last year?" She then said.

Lip nodded with a small smile.

"Well, maybe we could ask him if he wants to join us, then..." I suggested, unsure I'd be able to match whatever they'd done with Milo when they'd gone there as a family.

"Dad said he wouldn't come with us when you're there..." Philip muttered sadly.

To say that it didn't sting would have been a lie.

"Oh, ok..." I murmured while wondering why it stung so much. I quickly composed myself and put a smile on my face. From the look the twins were sending me, I knew I wasn't doing a good job of it.

Fortunately, I was saved by the loud beep of the timer that told us the cakes were now ready to be iced.

It took Moira forever, but she managed a beautiful We love you, Dad all by herself while Lip made sure all the skittles he'd placed on the icing of his cake were all equidistant.

"You sure you don't want me to write a message on it?" He asked for the umpteenth time and I once again shook my head.

Now that the cakes were ready, I knew that it was a question of minutes before I had to face things again.

Unwilling to ruin the twins' afternoon, I had turned off my phone as soon as I'd entered the kitchen.

As I was rinsing all the bowls, spoons and whips we'd used before putting them in the dish washer, I couldn't shake the sense of dread that had taken a hold of me as soon as the twins had left the kitchen to go clean up in the bathroom.