DEAD INSIDE

(41)

Neither Vanessa nor Gregory was there when I finally got to the Hiltons, and I felt really awkward as I let myself in through the back door that led to the kitchen.

Too ill at ease to get myself a drink, I hurried upstairs to Gregory's room, and got started with my homework.

I jumped when my phone started to buzz next to me.

It was Gregory.

"Alison, it's me. I just wanted to check that you were ok by yourself?" He sounded out of breath and one look at my watch told me he was about halfway done with his practice.

"I'm good." I said with a small voice.

"Good." His relief made me feel all warm inside. "Any news from your parents?"

Gone was the warmth as his question reminded me of the harsh reality of my messed up life.

"No..."

"I'm sorry..." Only he didn't sound sorry at all. Or maybe I was just being paranoid but his statement left me unsettled.

"I'll be there in an hour and a bit, ok?"

"Hmm..." I mumbled absent-mindedly and hung up.

I angrily wiped the tears off my face and let out a frustrated shout.

When would this nightmare be over?

I wanted my life back. Of course, I would be ecstatic to just rewind everything back to when Sam was still with us, but right then, I was so desperate that I'd actually settle with the fake life my mother and I used to have at the new house with all the lies and cardboard boxes.

I wanted my friends back too. I didn't have the first clue as to what was wrong with Mel but I needed her like crazy right now. And Marla.

Marla...

Incapable of focusing on my books any more, I decided to lie down.

I spent the first five minutes punching the cushions until, exhausted, I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

<-><-><-><-><->

"Wake up, Sleepy Head..." I opened my eyes and was greeted by Gregory's smile. "You're ok?"

"Yeah... I... I guess I fell asleep..." I muttered. "What time is it?"

"Twenty past five..." He answered. "We can cancel if you're not up for it..."

I sat up and checked my phone. No new messages.

"Do you mind?" I could tell my eyes were still red and puffy, and I really didn't feel like pretending tonight.

"How about I order a pizza and we watch mindless TV cuddled up together?" He asked while caressing my hair tenderly.

I nodded, overwhelmed by his unusual display of affection.

Cuddle up in front of the TV was exactly what we did. I wasn't really hungry so only had a small slice of pizza and Gregory never left my side all evening.

I must have fallen asleep at some point because next thing I knew, his blaring alarm clock woke me up after my first nightmare-free night since it all started. I was still cuddled up against his side with my head on his arm and my arm draped around his waist. I wondered how he'd carried me up to his room.

"I don't want to get up..." He groaned next to me after turning it off. "Can we stay like that forever?" I reached for his face and brushed a kiss on his cheek. He groaned again but the sound was more guttural this time, and after sliding his hand up my neck he claimed my mouth in a way that made me forget my own name.