I didn't ask to be here. I didn't ask to be raped at such a young age. I didn't ask to have to go through depression at such a young age. I didn't ask to not have any male figure in my life. I didn't even ask to be placed on this earth. I didn't ask...
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How was I supposed to attend school, and see all these faces? I didn't want to go. But, I didn't want anyone to assume that I was intimidated.
I was sure that everyone had heard about Sasha stabbing me, but no one had known about me losing my child. I dried the tears, that I hadn't even felt fall, off of my face.
This subject made me so depressed. Why did all bad things have to happen to me? Trust. That is exactly what got me in this position. I was done trusting and believing people.
I fastened my clothes onto my body. I felt filthy, honestly. I don't know why, but I felt like filth covered my entire body.
I grabbed my sweater and bag so that I could leave. My mother had taken off of work today, to drive me to school. I texted my mom, to tell her that I was ready since I had lost my voice from all the crying.
Mom, I'm ready. I'll be at the door.
I closed my room door and made my way into the living room. I sat down on the lounge chair and placed my head in my hands. I blew out a breath, I just prayed that I could get through this day without having to beat somebody's ass. I honestly didn't want to, but I had to do what I had to do. I was done being nice to people who didn't deserve it.
I felt a presence by me, so I raised my head up to see my mother standing there.
I grabbed my bag and left out the front door, leaving it open for my mother to lock. I headed to her car, standing there, waiting for her to unlock the door.
It was now November, and Saint Louis was finally starting to get nippy.
My mom hit the unlock button on her keys, and I hopped in. I was indeed ready for this day to be over. I decided to text Loren since we ordinarily walked and she had to walk alone today considering she didn't want to ride with my mom and me.
You coo babes?
Lolo 🌸: I should be asking you that 🙃. How you feeling?
Honestly?
Lolo 🌸: Yes
I feel like I could punch anybody in the face at any moment. I feel like putting a gun to Sasha's head for taking my baby away from me. I feel like killing anyone who has hurt me. I feel like dying ... that's the truth.
Lolo 🌸: Babbeee 😪 I love you always and forever. But don't let people see you like this. Wanna hang out today after school?
