I went straight to my room, showered, and got dressed, before crawling into bed. I had the necklace on and held the shell in my hands. I sighed. I knew I wasn't going to sleep tonight. Or ever again for that matter. I sat there, replaying every injury I inflicted, every death I caused, and Romos' death over and over and over.
Knock, knock.
"Who is it?"
"You won't let me in if I tell you."
I sighed.
"Come on in Finnick." I said, as he opened the door. He closed it gently and sat at the foot of my bed.
"What time is it?"
"Too late for either of us to be awake." He told me calmly.
"Why are you here?"
"To talk."
"No, like in the hotel. I heard you had 'businesses with someone."
"Oh...yeah. I did. Just a date. Nothing more. Don't worry."
"Why would I? It's not like were dating or anything of the sort."
"I just...felt I should tell you. Why are you mad at me?"
"I'm not mad. I'm just...I don't know."
"Try to explain."
"I can't love you. Hell, you don't love me!"
"Yes I do."
"No, you don't Finnick. You're either just lying or think you do for some ridiculous reason."
"And why is it you can't love me?"
"How am I supposed to love someone who is a professional romancer? How would I ever be able to trust you? And what foundation would we have? Even if I did fall for you, we couldn't be together and even if we could you'd be my first...everything really. And what would I be to you?"
"My first everything. As in the first girl to mean everything to me. Though admittedly, you already are."
"There's just too much standing in the way for us to ever be anything more than friends Finnick." I said, exasperated.
"Annie, sweet little Annie... I'd take over the world for you."
I sighed.
"Annie, sweet beautiful Annie...I'd steal the very sky for you. Annie, my dearest Annie...I'd give anything for you," he said teasingly.
"Anything?"
"Yes. Care to challenge it?"
"Your most prized possession?"
"Annie...you're wearing it." He told me, pointing to the necklace.
"How manly." I said sarcastically.
"Don't mock it. My mother and I found it together on the beach when I was a small child. She made a necklace for me out of it, shortly before she died. I feel like it protected me the last few years, but now I want it to protect you." He explained.
"Oh. I assumed your trident..."
"Now that is, but if you'd like it, you can have it."
"It was a joke."
"I don't care." He said quietly. We sat in silence.
"Finnick, I can't...I just...we can't be together."
"Annie...I wish I could just give up this whole capitol business. But now so much more is at stake. You are. And I need to protect you. I know it sounds crazy. And I, myself, have never been a fan of love at first sight stories. But I saw you from across the square on the day you were reaped. Your eyes, spoke to me. And I was a little put off when I saw your eagerness, both then and on the train. Even then, there was something and it was so hard to repress and then that night I couldn't find you..." He drifted into silence.
"In a perfect world Finnick...we would never have even met. Because these games never would have happened."
"In a perfect world Annie, our wedding would have been yesterday. But clearly, some perfection is left because I got to meet you. And even if you're never mine, you get to deal with me every year from now on. And on your victory tour. Face it, you're stuck with me. Might as well enjoy it." He said smugly.
"If you couldn't tell by my games, I'm good at hiding."
"Your beauty radiates too much to ever have you truly hidden. Had they just looked for the glowing angel...."
"Stop it Finnick! I'm not a game. I'm not a prize. And I'm not the perfect girl you make me out to be."
"I never said you were perfect, but if you want to go there-"
"RAVIAH!!!" I screamed. Seconds later he burst through the door, with several Avox.
"Are you o-"he saw Finnick on my bed. "Why did she yell?"
"Because I was complimenting her."
"Compliments are seduction in words. Leave her room Finnick. I'll deal with you outside. Annie, lock your door. Thank you for calling me." Raviah said, leaving with Finnick. I locked the door once they left. What was I doing to myself?
I heard loud arguing in the hall and opened my door, slightly, so I could just barely see and hear.
"Finnick you have a duty."
"Raviah, I can't do it anymore."
"Then you're sentencing your family to death."
"No. The capitol is."
"Annie will be killed."
"Why?"
"Because of your obsession."
"It's not obsession. Its love."
"You can only love whomever the Capitol says you love."
"I renounce the Capitol."
And with that statement Finnick Odair was punched out. I placed my hand over my mouth to repress a scream. Blood was pouring from his nose and mouth. Tears welled in my eyes. I closed the door, locked it, and lay on my bed. I buried my face in a pillow and cried.