Crazy to Think You're Here..

Chapter1

-EDITED-

Chapter One

“This road never looked so lonely…”

It's been 5 months since I've been here. I have seen a variety of people walking down these dim hallways. Some calm, others struggling, others creepily smiling, you name it. I don’t know what my level of insanity is according to them, but I think I’m better. At least I don’t walk around thinking I’m a teapot.

 What’s the real reason behind me being here? It was simple; I was here because of him. I think that one of the disgusting medicines I take is to stop missing him but, quite frankly, that is never going to happen.

Where is he, anyways? I reckon that he’s probably wondering the same thing… I should probably call him or at least write him a letter, or else I know that he’d be worried.

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Today is one of those rare days that I get to see my parents. They come to visit once a month and I know that they can come more if they wanted to, but they don’t want to tire themselves. In their eyes, I’m no longer that perfect little girl they used to love.

“Your parents are here.” The nurse solemnly said, not even bothering to smile.

I absolutely hated it here.

Displeased, I get up and wear my white hospital shoes and ready myself to meet them. I’m not really excited to see them or anything, but I still have to. Maybe they might bring me good news; maybe they’ll tell me more information about him.

In this hellhole or what they call a “Mental Institution” they have this room that has these dirty tables so you’d meet your visitors, kind of like the ones in jail. The room itself is very glum, and it makes my skin crawl in irritation with just the thought of it. My eyes searched the room for the familiar figure of my parents, and I finally found them. They were somberly sitting down, disgust and bewilderment written all over their face. I don’t blame them, I’d act like them if I was a visitor. I guess I just got used to it.

Despite my mother’s solemn look, her eyes shone with anxiousness.

“How are you, dear?” said my mother after she gave a hug, but she was careful not to hug me too tight because the uniform I was wearing was very appalling. Once again, I don’t blame her. Everything here is awful.

“Fine, whatever.” I said and got straight to the point, “Did you tell him where I am? What did he say? Where the hell is he, anyways?” I babbled like a madman.

“Here we go again.” My mother nudged my father’s stiff shoulder.

My father looked at me and slowly said, almost as if I was a little child, “How many times do I have to say this, Lauren? Noah is gone!”

They always keep telling me that he’s gone, that he’s never coming back, but I don’t buy it. He’s going to surprise me one day, and I just know it! He loves surprises!

“Gone where? Tell me, and I’ll gladly go find him!” I simply said, plastering a smile that looked close to a lunatic’s smile.

“You know what, Lauren?” My father said, “I really am sick of you! Every month, we drag our asses here to see you, thinking that maybe just maybe you’ve recovered, yet every time, you never fail to disappoint us by thinking that he is still out there! If you want to waste our time by us telling you the truth, then what’s the point of coming here in the first place?

“Then don’t come!” I angrily said, “Who told you to anyways? It’s not like I want to see you both or anything.”

“All solved now, isn’t it?” Dad sarcastically said, his face turning beet-red with anger.

“Not until you tell me where he is.”

“Okay, darling…” my mother started off with a soft tone, “Noah Lennon is dead. He’s up in the sky, probably in heaven, and you’ll never see him again!”

“Get that into your head, will you?” My dad said.

“You’re lying! I hate both of you for putting me here!” I exasperatedly said, “Noah is alive, and no matter what you say or do, nothing is going to change my mind!” I ran a hand through my greasy hair, “Noah can’t be dead… He’s always here.”

They both kept silent, probably thinking that I’m a lost cause. My mother had tears in her eyes, but she probably was just acting. I knew she was sick of me. She probably hated me, too.

I glanced at them both one last time before getting up from the table and rushing to my room. I remember that the doctor told me that “Hatred doesn’t exist here,” but he probably was just lying.

I thought of going back and apologizing, I was feeling just the slightest bit guilty, but I decided against it.

My thoughts on how the hell I was going to get out of here were interrupted when my roommate, Sandy, entered the room. She was kind, this girl, and she’s always been, well at least for the past five months I’ve been here. She’s been here for two years, trying to overcome her anger, and it really helped her become calmer. She had a huge smile on her face, and her vibe of excitement twinkled at me, and I suddenly felt excited too.

“Guess what?” She asked excitedly, and I was afraid that the grin on her face will make her face split in two, “I’m getting out today, Lauren!”

I was excited at first and showered her with words of encouragement. After the reality finally settled in, I felt jealous, sad even. And I could tell that the sadness haunted my eyes.

“No way!” I exclaimed, “Lucky you! I wish I’d get out too…”

She gingerly sat down next to me and placed my head on her shoulder while wrapping an arm around my waist, “Someday, you will too! It’s just that…” she trailed off, “You know Noah’s dead, but you can’t come to believe it.”

I was about to argue with her but she cut me off and continued, “When you do believe it, however, you’ll be running out of here yelling ‘freedom!’ at the top of your lungs!”

“No, no!” I exclaimed like a madcap, “He’s not dead! He’s just playing one of his magic tricks on me! He made himself disappear.”

She looked at me with sympathy blazing in the depth of her brown eyes, “Keep saying that and you’ll never be out of here.”

After a few minutes of sheer silence, she hugged me goodbye and went out with her packed bags, and I knew that that would be the last I’d be seeing here. She was out of my life forever.

She left me alone to my brutal thoughts. Maybe he probably is dead, but I can’t seem to buy it.

I tried hard to retain information of what happened the day before I was put here.

He was smiling at me with that amazing smile, then suddenly it all became red. Blood spluttered on his face, flawing his beautiful features.

“Lauren, Lauren!” He cried.

“Noah!” I yelled, my tone desperate, “Don’t let go of my hand!”

The image then went blank, and I suddenly had this uncontrollable urge to scream in agitation, so I did. I was in a mental hospital, after all.