Crazy to Think You're Here..

Chapter2

-EDITED-

Chapter Two

“Lauren, are you awake?” said a man with a white lab coat, and for a moment, I felt like I was a lab rat in his eyes, nothing more. His face was blurry, I couldn’t quite make out his features, and all I could see were colors.

Suddenly, his face started to become clearer, only this time, it wasn’t the same blurry features, instead the face was transformed into another shape, the jaw became edgier, the hazel eyes turned into blue, and his pale skin became tan. I’d recognize that beautiful face anywhere, it was Noah!

“Noah!” I cried, my eyes shining with excitement.

I heard screams, someone said something that sounded like, “Give her the morphine! Her mind is playing tricks on her!”

Another scream followed, before everything became dead silent. The face of Noah’s transformed into the doctor’s, only this time, with a big scratch on his face. It looked like that’s been done by a finger nail, I don’t know.

The nurses held me in place, and injected me with whatever they had, as my eyes became droopy, and my dustbowl of the soul slowly drifted into nothingness.

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I’ve been forcing myself to try and retain information about what happened, and I’ve only reached half the truth. The rest was hidden in my brain, and I was still trying to fish it out.

I was on a beach with him. It had a lot of people, the beach, I mean. We seemed as if we were in a hotel room that had a view to the water, perhaps it was the Pacific Ocean, I don’t know.

Noah looked at me angelically with his bright eyes and perfectly shaped face and said, “Do you want to go surfing?”

“Sure,” I replied, my voice in-daze. I was truly blinded by his beauty.

We dressed in our surfing suits and took two surfing boards and hit the water.

When it came to surfing, I wasn’t really as professional as Noah, he always gave me instructions on what to do. I was staring at his body movements, trying to imitate exactly what he was doing. After what seemed like moments, a great wave was in front of us. I looked at Noah, and he gave me ‘the nod’.

“Stand on the board!” Noah’s deep voice shouted and I did exactly what I was told. I sort of lost balance for a moment, but I steadied myself.

As I was waiting for the great experience to hit me, with crossed fingers and huge smile on my face, I heard gunfire behind me.

I bewilderedly looked behind to see what was happening, before the great wave hit me. I was slapped down into the depth of the raging water, silence and serenity engulfing my senses. Water soaked my lungs, and I was cut off of my air supply. I was trying very hard to resurface, but the water, seeming as if it was playing games with me, kept pushing me back down. Within the few moments I managed to finally resurface, my eyes searched for Noah’s. Only, I couldn’t see him.

I only saw a pool of blood, tainting the clear water, before I drowned into the depth once more, this time, losing consciousness.

I returned to reality, only this time I wasn’t in my usual room. I was in an unfamiliar room, with glum black walls and a dim light that was flickering as fast as my beating heart. It had a toilet and mattress in the middle.

I looked around me, and a paper was hung on the door that read, “Attempt of suicide, Bipolar Disorder.”

I couldn’t understand what this Bipolar Disorder meant, and I really couldn’t understand what exactly was going on. Last time I checked, I had been sleeping all this time, not transferred into a horrific and appalling room such as this.

The door flung open, revealing a nurse who seemed quite shaky. Perhaps she was afraid. The tray of food she was holding was moving like Jell-O in her hands, and I was afraid that the poor thing would drop it any second.

“H-Here’s your food,” she stuttered, “I’m going to help you eat it.” I was not going to kill her, why was she so afraid?

I touched her hand as a sign of comfort to which she jumped as I asked, “Why are you afraid of me? What have I done?”

“I’m not afraid, it’s just your room is so cold, that’s why I’m shaking.” The lie easily rolled off of her tongue, but I didn’t comment. She placed the tray of food on the mattress as I asked vehemently, “Why am I here and not in my old room? Why does it say that I have attempted suicide when I haven’t? What is Bipolar Disorder? I don’t even know how I got here!”

“Well,” she hesitantly said, “You had tried to attempt suicide with a spoon, and you hurt your doctor by scratching his face.”

“I did what?” I exclaimed in disbelief, “I couldn’t have, don’t be silly! I was dreaming of Noah and trying to remember the day he died, and then poof, I’m in this godforsaken room.”

“How can I explain it to you?” She asked in wonder, “It’s like you have amnesia, but a special kind of amnesia.”

I looked at her confusedly so she said, “It’s called a Multiple Personality Disorder, like a Doppelgänger, honey.  It’s like you only remember the times when you’ve been a good person.”

“Am I a werewolf?” I stupidly asked.

She laughed lightheartedly. She had a nice laugh, this nurse. “You’re not, you see the Doppel in Doppelgänger means double, as in, more than one personality. Kind of like schizophrenia.”

She picked up a spoonful of the mushy food that was on the tray and fed me. She seemed much more comfortable now.

“How come all of this happened just because of my fiancée’s death?” I asked confusedly while trying to stomach the food that tasted like nothing but water.

“His death hurt you a lot, and your body seems vulnerable to your will to believe that he’s still alive. It’s like your being stubborn to nature itself, which is why it’s affecting you negatively.” She said and forced another spoonful of food in my mouth.

“Am I ever going to be able to get better and live like a normal human being?”

“At the mean time, I’m afraid not…” she trailed off, “But I’m sure after a few years of treatment, you’ll be out of this place for good!”

She fed me the last spoonful of food and left.

 I couldn’t wait a few years! That’s too much! I don’t want to live in this creepy room and get fed by nurses as if I’m a baby! I don’t want to hurt my doctor, and try to attempt suicide to with a spoon!

What in the world have I become?