Downfall [Punk Niall Horan]

42

"How could you fucking say that?" I spat harshly, shoving myself out from behind Luke.

Niall's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, looking at me through long watery lashes. I couldn't fathom why he would lie about something like this. To hurt me further than he already had? He's already done a pretty damn good job with that. I regretted telling him in the first place anyways. Niall was the first and only person I told, because I thought he actually might care. I was so horrifically wrong.

"Is this a huge game to you? Do you get off on making me suffer?" I cried, digging my fingernails into my palms. Honestly I would've just been better if I stayed with my father in the city. He would probably treat me better than Niall ever had.

"Tylie, don't fucking look at it like this -," Niall tried, placing a hand out in front of him. But I just shook my head, taking another brisk step towards him. How could I have fell in love with a monster like him?

"Look at it like what, Niall? Like you're a master manipulator and liar? That you're a deceiver?" I paused, gulping harshly and dropping my voice, "That you're worse than my Father? That you are hurting me way more than he ever could?"

Niall grimaced, eyes clenching in fake pain. It's an act, it was always a huge act. He did not care, and he never has. "Tylie, please let me explain." My eyes widened, making me look crazed and more broken than I already was. My head shook back and forth as I looked at him in bewilderment.

"I think you've done enough, Niall. I can't believe you would lie about something that scarred me so much, like its not even important, like it didn't change my whole life!" I screamed, balling my hands into tight fists and shoving them into my sides.

"You seemed to act like you actually cared about me, so I told you about it hoping you could help console my aching soul. You knew my most vulnerable part, and you accepted the psychical and mental scars that came with it. At least I thought you did in my fucked up mind."

"If I would have known that you would use it to tear me apart and exploit my abuse like some joke, then I never would have even stayed around you or told you for that matter. I just would've stayed with my parents because that would feel better than this," I laughed hollowly, pushing air sharply between my teeth.

I dropped my eyes to the ground, wishing it would open up and take me away from this world. Or that some solution would appear but it never did, and never would. Tears welled up in my eyes as I looked back at the blonde haired and blue eyed boy.

"I trusted you completely," I shook my head and looked away as I swiped under my eye at the traitorous tear that trailed down my cheek. "I fucking trusted you," I whispered, voice cracking. "And I loved you, not the you now but the boy who protected me and cradled my secret gently. But I don't even know where that boy is anymore. Or if he was even here in the first place."

I felt my mind getting clearer with each word of my confession. Niall didn't deserve this or me, he didn't deserve the truth that I was giving. But I wasn't him, and I wasn't going to lie to him even after what he has done to me.

I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of me crumbling to the ground into a broken pile because that was just what he wanted. Niall needed to know so he could dwell on how badly he messed up, because after this I never wanted to see him again.

"I don't even recognize you," I continued with a new air of confidence. "You aren't the boy I love, but maybe you never were in the first place. I don't know anything these days I suppose, I'm not well after all," I finished, digging at him again for when he said that about me.

"Just leave, Niall," I said stiffly, turning on my heel. Even after all of this, the words felt like acid on my tongue. I hated myself, and I hated how naive I was with him. I should've have known that Niall, the tattooed Gang leader, would be nothing but my downfall.