Downfall [Punk Niall Horan]

58

TYLIE'S POV

Silence.

It was the first time in my life where I had ever had an out of body experience, and the first time in my life where everything was completely silenced. Not a soul stirred, the world was on pause. Not one heart pumped up for one more beat.

No, I didn't have some big revelation about what was right or what was wrong in my life. Obviously everything was so horribly wrong, but some of those wrong things had felt absolutely, irrevocably right. Everything in my life up until this moment was perfectly imperfect in the best and worst way possible.

But in this moment, the only good parts that were in the overshadowing bad parts of my life were blinking away from existence right in front of my dry eyes. I had cried enough tears to fill oceans, and I couldn't even seem to begin to bring myself to shed a single one for the horrible act I was witnessing in front of me.

I didn't know what turn or what decision I had made in my life to take me on this dark path to so much pain and agony. Was it because I just didn't care too much about the important, little things in life? Was it because I loved my family too deeply and expected them to only do kind to the world? Was it because I just believed that my brother who is not actually my brother was dead all these years, and did I make a wrong turn when I actually let myself fall in love with him too?

Or was it because I just paid too much attention to the broken, asshat of a bodyguard that had the most beautiful blue eyes, the one whose sister was my best friend, for the simple fact that I thought I could live out one of my books and fix the bad guy then live happily ever after in love?

Maybe it was all these things combined into one torturous mass of cruelty that was snowballed into a huge mess and thrown straight at my face. Things weren't like the movies or the books, they never were, and they never could be. In this story it's not so romantic on how the girl has to choose which of her two loves she wants to save from the hands of death. Even when they both had done their fair share of bad to you.

No matter how life changing those decisions I made that got me to where I am today were, nothing could surmount to this moment right here, right now in the present. For so much of my life I was sheltered to the hideous truth right in front of me, but now the biggest decision to be made was right in front of me. It was terrifying, and it wasn't going to be a happy ending. Not for me, not for anyone.

There's no happy endings in real life.
It's life or death.
You see the world in black or white.
People die, the girl and the boy(s) don't get the fairytale ending no matter how much love is shared between a triangle of people.

Nothing is as it seems.

Let me explain myself, explain why you don't get your happy ending ever, and why this is such a tragic ending to such a hideously gory chapter.

********

Through the erratic beating of my heart I heard the single noise that was going to be the end of all things, the end of me. It was a bullet clicking into the chamber, getting placed there by none other than my despicable father. My eyes glazed over as he pointed the gun at me, but even as he raised it I had never felt more free.

A calm settled over my bones and nestled into the pit of my stomach where my little baby was being held. We didn't need to live in this world anymore, my child and I, he/she shouldn't see a world like this much less grow up in it. Whatever came after death had to be better than this. Even an infinite amount of darkness on a black canvas would be better than the real life hell that resided on this earth. I didn't know what came after death, but at this moment I was ready for darkness to overcome me.