Secret Love

Thunder only happens when it's raining

Sari sits on the staircase of Stevie's pacific palisades home, with her hands supporting the weight of her chin as she listens to her mother and father bicker, shout, and occasionally cuss at one another. She's changed from her pajamas into a simple long white knitted sweater with dark skinny jeans and bed socks. Sulamith surprisingly runs over to Sari on the staircase and joins her, sitting on Sari's lap, '' you never come to me Sula, momma must be pretty mad'' she coos to the little pet. She leans her head against the railing of the stairs, as she listens to her mother's protective fury and her fathers defenses's....  

'' Oh Stevie stop, just stop! you're overreacting, give this thing some time and it'll die down'' he says waving the newspaper up in the air. '' Die down! Die down! Lindsey things like this that are found out by the media don't just die down okay. They want answers, they want the truth, so they can take the truth and twist into it whatever the hell they want just to make someone else feel better about themselves and get a load of cash!'' she fires back at him. Sari winces and groans '' ugh why do I feel like I'm ten years old'' just then she hears the door shut, she looks up to see Lori trying to brush past the living room and goes over to join Sari on the stairs. '' I just came over to see you and Stevie. But it seems I've imposed on something'' she says sitting down next to Sari. '' WILL YOU LISTEN TO ME!'' Lindsey answers, '' NO ANSWER ME WHY IN THAT THICK BRAIN OF YOURS DID YOU LET THE WORLD KNOW ABOUT SARI!'', Lindsey gives her a boggled expression '' So what you're ashamed of her'' he says quietly but loud enough for Sari and Lori to hear. 'Ashamed' was a forbidden emotion for Stevie to feel about anyone in her family, hearing that come from Lindsey and in the context of her daughter made her feel more lioness than human right now. '' OH HOW DARE YOU!'' she hisses at him, he waves his hands '' well, you didn't want anyone to know you were pregnant, you didn't want anyone to know that you were giving our baby up for adoption...what were you feeling.'' 

'' You're a bastard you know that.'' she says, She turns around and grasp her head in her heads then turns back to Lindsey '' I put my baby up because I loved her! I knew had we kept her we'd be like this, fighting each and every day!''. Lindsey looks at her his eyes nearly welling with tears, he gains the strength to hold him back '' You never learn do you, you never learn from the men you've been with over the years, the road-rompers, the 'helpers''' he says slightly gyrating his hips, teasing her about her various love affairs and losses. Stevie turns her head at his taunts and rolls her eyes, '' I was the only one who really loved you! you wanna know why?'' she turns her face back to his, staring deep into the core of his blue eyes. '' Because I wanted to take responsibility for what was mine! I wasn't going to just up and leave you like Joe, or make you deal with matters by yourself like Don. I was ready to stand up and own my action. We could have made things work Stevie.'' Stevie shakes her head '' no, no we couldn't have and you know it Lindsey.'' she says calmly in her husky tone. He shrugs '' why not? huh? I loved you, I loved you enough to try and make things work?'' Stevie looks at him her eyes nearly watering. She felt the guilt that she has feared for a while, starting to sink in. The guilt of ''maybe things would have been better, had I kept her and Lindsey.'' she hated this feeling, because in the pit of her stomach she knew this to be true.  

Stevie denies it still, '' no, it couldn't have.'' she says quietly. Lindsey sees right through her denial, '' yeah well I'm calling it BULLCRAP!'' she looks at him bewildered at his tone, '' Yeah that's what I told it like it is'' he raises his tone '' BULLCRAP, BULLCRAP, BULLCRAP!''. '' You know it Stevie! you know had we have kept her, we would have been much happier. Not that I'm not happy now. But we could have had a life together, the life that 'YOU' have always wanted with me, a life that you and I during Buckingham-nicks strived for.'' he softens his tone and starts slowly pacing around the space he's in. '' Had we had kept her. We would've watched her grow, you would play dolls and have tea parties with her, and put her in ballet. I would have taught her guitar and protect like she was my little princess living in a castle. We may have even had another one or two, cause we wouldn't want her to grow up just by herself. '' Stevie puts her head down, visualizing the things Lindsey said. He shrugs again '' She wouldn't have dealt with Rape, pregnancy and then the loss of two babies, she wouldn't have been depended on by an alcoholic to provide and be the mother of the home at the age of fourteen. She wouldn't have had the center of her face fractured thanks to some brute. She never would have even met him or Andy...all the crap that's happened to her. Never would have happened to her, had we raised her.''