Behind the Mask

Chapter 9: Gone

Chapter 9: Gone

I stared at myself I the mirror. I had to tell James off today, I didn’t want to but I needed to. My heart was saying one thing when my brain was telling me another. So ignoring my heart I had to do the logical thing. 

“Oh god.” I mumbled letting my face fall into my hands. I had never had to been mean to anyone like this. But it had to be done. Sighing I toughened myself up putting on a smile.

But when I looked back up in the mirror I saw straight through my façade. Behind my mask I saw a scared girl one who couldn’t come to terms with what her heart was telling her. And I was scared.

I switched off the light and walked downstairs. Grabbing breakfast I left the house not a word spoken to anyone in my family. Even Pierre had given up on me. I was quite to the point that I could forgive my mom.

I kicked my bike to life pulling on my helmet. I tore from the drive way the engine just a load roar in my ears. It was so loud it made me lose my train of thought, helping me to push those unwanted burdens away.

I pulled up into the school’s lot turning off my bike and taking off my helmet. I set it behind me. I still didn’t want to do this. But I owed this much to Cameron, I liked him a lot. He made me happy James just made me angry. But I still can’t deny those feelings I felt for James.

I gripped the handle bars so tight my knuckles turned white my head lowered. Gritting my teeth I tore away from my bike and started to walk to the school. People said hey as I walked past but I barely spared them a glance. I was too focused. 

I would find James before first period and set him straight. Looking up I spotted Alice and Ben sitting on some front steps laughing. They brought a smile to my face. Altering my original plan I headed towards them.

But just as I was getting close someone cut me off. Stepping back I recognized Amber, she and I had eaten lunch a couple times together.

“Oh hey Amber,” I said moving around her walking towards Alice.

“Wait,” She said gripping my upper arm. “Want to go shopping tonight?”

“For what?” I asked temporarily distracted.

“A party at some kid’s house this Saturday.” She stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Oh, well I have stuff at home.” I replied again starting to walk.

“Please? You can get something new.” Amber lured. I had been wanting to go shopping just with Alice. We usually hit thrift stores, getting things that no one else had. I turned to look back at Amber. She had a pleading look in her eyes.

“Uh, sure.” I cracked. “When?”

“Tonight!” She smiled throwing an arm around me having a hard time because of the height I have on her. After that she just kept mindlessly chatting away. I was practically drug away from where I had wanted to go.

I didn’t get to end up to see Alice and Ben or James before first. The hour dragged by, each minute an hour all its own. I tapped my pencil repeatedly on the table reserving me anger glares from others.

But I didn’t care, I was on edge, I was practically ready to fly from my seat when the bell rang. Time was passing and with each moment gone I was losing whatever courage I had managed to get.

Amber gave me a slight tap on the shoulder repeatedly until I gave her my attention. I whipped around tired of silly games and chit chat.

“What?” I hissed pursing my lips. But in Amber like fashion she was oblivious to my kindling anger and uneasy.