Behind the Mask

Chapter 18: Leaving

Chapter 18: Leaving

I stared at the full suitcase; nearly everything I owned was packed away. After I had patched up with Alice I decided to spend the last months of school and half of summer living with my dad in Italy.

Mom had agreed to it. She saw I was miserable at school, and that I needed to know my father. In the beginning I resented him, but now I could tell he wanted to know me just as bad as I wanted to know him.

Sighing I zipped it closed. I took a look around my room. The bigger items I wanted were being shipped. I felt like a coward, running away. But it seemed like the only option, yes I might I have fixed things between my mom and I and Alice. But it was James’ approval I wanted.

I couldn’t stand seeing him in the halls glaring at me, seeing him with other girls. I broke me; Alice kept telling me to beat him up. It made me smile but I didn’t want to be mad at him, well I did but I wanted him more.

He meant a lot to me, I am not sure how he finagled this space in my heart but it’s there but empty. I flopped onto my bed staring at the ceiling. I had to get over it, it was heartbreak. And I was bound to feel it one day.

I didn’t want to, I didn’t want to feel it but none the less it happened. My thoughts wandered. James’ soft lips, his white smile, his smooth accent, his hands on my bare skin, NO. I couldn’t let myself think that way. Tears welled in my eyes, but a soft knock held them in.

“Isabel,” Alice asked pushing the door open. Her eyes were slightly red, and puffy. She gave me a small smile, but it fell once she saw my face. “Don't think about him Bel, don't do it.” She walked over sitting on the bed pulling me into her arms.

“I just don't know what happened. Why?” I asked Alice. It was a question she didn’t have an answer for.

“I don't know Bel I don't know. I wish I did. I don't like seeing you like this.” I pulled from her embrace looking into her eyes.

“Thank you,” But as I looked at her tears spilled over my eyes for different reasons. “Alice,” I said I pulled her into a hug. I didn’t want to let her go, her or Ben. But I needed to know my father, and I needed a break from school. We both cried in each other’s embrace, clinging to each other.

“Don't forget about me okay?” Alice cried.

“Never, you’re unforgettable Alice. Don't forget that. And we can hang out all end of the summer.” I sobbed.

“Knock knock, not to irrupt the sob fest. But Isabel has a plane to catch.” Ben said leaning on the door frame.

“Ben,” I smiled. Getting up I walked over to him hugging him.

“Aw, Jelly Belly no need to get emotional.” He laughed. But as I pulled back I could see tears threatening to spill over.

“It’s okay to cry you know.” I laughed wiping away a stray tear.

“ISABEL!” My mom yelled up the stairs. “WE NEED TO GO!” Sighing I turned back to my suitcase. I yanked it off the bed, it landed against the floor with a thunk.

“I’ll get that.” Ben said taking it from me. I picked up my carry ons, my back pack and a pillow for the long trip.

All three of us made our way down stairs collecting my stuff at the front of the house. Paul started to load my stuff into the back of the car. My mom came out of the kitchen looking tired and sad. Her usually bright eyes dull.

“Mom,” I said rushing forward I pulled her into a hug. It was awkward since she had already gotten a belly.

“Isabel,” She whispered into my hair. “I love you.”