The Majesty of Choice

Bargaining

When Gerard and Patrick follow the source of the screaming, they come upon a rather strange sight. There's a man, who Gerard can't make out in the dark, dangling from a tree branch by his feet. He's squirming and trying to pull himself free but he can't seem to lift his body up enough to reach the ropes binding him. He looks much like your classic damsel in distress, only slightly less damsel, and slightly more numbskull given the way that when he squirms, he looks like a very energetic slug.

"Well I guess this is what you get when you leave your hometown," Patrick says.

"We should help him shouldn't we?" Gerard asks.

"What kind of a person are you?" Patrick says, looking offended and stomping right over to the dangling man with determination.

"Sir, are you aware that you are currently dangling upside down from a rope?" Patrick asks.

"Are you aware that you two just fell into a fucking trap?" the man replies, and Gerard really wishes he knew what this guy looked like, but it's hard to tell when he's both upside down and it's pitch black. He also wishes that Patrick hadn't been so impulsive, because even though it makes him sound like a bad guy, Gerard doesn't know this man. Why does he have the obligation to help him? And then he remembers his decency and he sighs as he walks over also.

"See now, that would make the fact that you are dangling from a tree make more sense," Patrick replies, before turning around to see two very burly looking men coming out from behind two very large trees.

"At least they're not ogre's," Gerard shrugs.

"But they are every bit as ugly," the man, who's currently spinning to face the other way replies.

"Is that helping this situation in anyway?"

"Not really."

Gerard, who seems to be the only one concerned with the fact that two large men, larger than Gerard at the very least, are looming over them with looks of devilish intent on their equally as uninteresting faces. Gerard says this as they are two of the most unassuming faces he's ever seen. All it takes is a blink for Gerard to completely forget every feature on either ones faces.

"May I ask why it is you two have this man tied to a tree?" Gerard asks.

"Funny man wouldn't sing us a song," one of the men says, the one on the left.

"Funny man?" Gerard asks, before turning to the man tied to the tree, "Wait, are you an elf?"

"Well duh," he replies as he turns steadily back to look at Gerard.

"Elves don't have preservation rights," Patrick murmurs, "this is technically not illegal."

"Well that is not a decent thing for you to be doing to your fellow creature," Gerard says, and Patrick is in disbelief that Gerard is about to reprimand this very large, very stupid, very unwelcoming looking bully.

"He's an elf."

"And you're a jerk," Gerard says, "what other facts do you want to state?"

"I'm Pete by the way," the elf says as he circles around again to face Patrick. He holds out a hand, as if to shake, but he rotates again the other way before Patrick can take it.

"I'm Patrick. The idiot with the big mouth is Gerard."

"Nice to meet you," Pete says as he spins toward Patrick again. "And nice knowing you."

"Yeah you too," Patrick says as Pete spins away.

"I'm not being killed today," Gerard says, "this is the first time I've ever left town without my mom. Oh my god it's been like ten years since I left my home, and the last time I did leave my stuffed animal drowned. Poor Mittens. He was so young. I'm so young. I'm not old enough to die. I've never even seen the world, I can't die. I'm having a crisis here."