The Majesty of Choice

Pinkish

So maybe it's like, a retribution thing because Gerard did sort of laugh at Pete when he was hanging upside down from that tree. Not in a mean way, more in a, that guy's hanging upside down in a tree, that's a pretty amusing sight, sort of way.

Maybe that is why Gerard finds himself hanging from a tree, though luckily, not upside down. The ogre's, of which there are four, had fought for some time about who they were going to eat first, and Gerard drew the short straw. Actually, he drew the tall straw. They're killing him first because the other two are smaller than he is. It makes sense, Gerard's not going to say the ogre's are dumb or anything, especially not when his life is held in the palms of their hands, but that doesn't mean Gerard wants to be an entrée. He doesn't want to be an appetizer or dessert either, but thank god he's not a palate cleanser.

They tied Patrick and Pete to a tree, leaving Mikey's book lying precariously on the dirt at the base of the roots of the tree. Gerard doesn't know what exactly is going to happen to Mikey. If all three of them are gone, what happens to Mikey? Does Mikey just lie on the ground for the rest of eternity, with no company, nothing to do, just sitting there? Maybe someone will find him someday, but if so, how long from now? He could be there for years, and Gerard doesn't have any idea how miserable and lonely that would be.

Or maybe the ogre's will take Mikey with them. Then what? Will Mikey pop up? Will he just hide and pretend to be an ordinary book with no words printed on his pages? Will he talk to them and spook them? What if the ogres decide he's of no use and decide to burn him as kindling? What happens to Mikey if his book is burned? Does he die with it?

There's so many questions that Gerard has for the fate of himself, and the people he cares most about, and unfortunately, apart from Ray who's dozens of miles away, all the people who he cares about are right here. There's only four people he actually gives a damn about, and three of them have their lives on the line right now, and it's all Gerard's fault.

He knew he should never have done this. He put this off for so long because he knew this exact thing might happen. He knew this was a danger. He was aware that this could happen even while he was safe in his own home, why did he willingly walk out in the open, practically baiting ogres with a sign that says 'come eat me'? How could Gerard be so stupid?

Gerard's going to die here. He's going to be bones and nothing else, just lying in the dirt, waiting to decay as the sunlight turns him to dust. He's just going to be a memory in the minds of too many people who will remember him as a failure, and in some cases, a murderer. What will Patrick's family think? What will Ray think of him? Will Ray just shake his head and move on with his life without Gerard? What will he tell Gerard's father? Will he even care?

Gerard can't fathom all of the questions running through his mind right now, he doesn't know what he wants right now. He doesn't know if he'd rather escape right now or die and be put out of his misery. He can't believe that this is actually happening though. He's actually going to die, and he's going to die being responsible for the deaths of at least two other people, not accounting for the unknown fate of Mikey. They're all just going to be ogre food and that'll be it. That will be the only impact they've left on this planet.

Gerard looks down at the fire being started below him, and it makes his heart seize up. He doesn't want to die like this. Honestly, he would have preferred it if his death came about forty years after this, maybe more. He doesn't want to die young, and he surely doesn't want to die as a main course, there's nothing more demeaning and ugly as that.

Gerard thinks that he might puke. He might just throw up his internal organs and die like that. He wretches a little at the thought, but it's not helping. He'll only die in a more demeaning way if he were to puke. He can't figure out what he wants ideally right now.