transcendent ༜stiles stilinski༜ [1] (UNDER EDITING)

36| Transcending

I stand the graves of Jay and my mother. I stare the gravestones. My friends stand beside me. Allison, Scott, Stiles, Lydia, and Isaac. We stand in silence and I look at all of my friend with solemn looks on their faces. I burst into laughter. Everyone looks at me with shocked expressions on their face. Laughing so hard it takes my breath away and I have to gasp for air more than once as the it takes from my oxygen.

"I'm sorry, everyone looks so sad and they didn't even know Jay or my mom really," I tell them through giggles. "Scott came when he could. No one knew Jay really. Stiles hated him--"

"Pseudobulbar affect... Laughing at inappropriate times," Lydia explains.

I laugh even harder as I clutch my stomach.

"He was in love with Lydia and he only knew her for a week... My mom didn't know anyone but Scott. She loved him like her own son and..."

My laughter slowly dies. The smile falls from my face as I stare at my friends.

"It's my fault they're dead," I say.

My breathing becomes short and fast. I can't breathe. I want to scream. I want to vomit. I want to cry. My friends start to move towards me.

"Don't touch me!" I scream.

They step back. But only one doesn't listen. Stiles. I back away from him but he comes closer and closer until he has his arms wrapped around me.

"No! Let me go!"

I desperately try to push him away but he holds on to me tight.

"You're going to feel pressure and you're going to fight me," he explains over my yelling and he's right. I try to get out of his grasp with all my might. "But you'll stop and calm down."

His tight grasp makes my body tense.

"No get off me!" I shout but it becomes weaker and weaker. "Get off me, get--"

"Ssh," Stiles coos.

My body relaxes in his firm hold. I dissolve into tears as I grip his shirt. Tears flow out of my eyes and once they start I can't get them to stop. I begin to scream. No, not scream. I wail. I lament. I bawl. I bleat. I howl. Stiles doesn't let go of me. I don't stop crying. I can't. Jennifer broke me. She took pieces of me away. She made me give more of myself away to save Allison's father, Scott's mother, and Stiles' father. Pieces of me she knew I could never get back.

"We defeated her," I heave. "Why don't I feel any better? Why don't I..."

And before I know it, it's almost night. And I've cried for hours. And I still want to cry. But they're all still here for me. When they shouldn't be because they should be asleep and not worried about me. Stiles and I are on the ground. He's still got me in arm and his head is rested on my own. I slowly pull away from his embrace.

"Are you feeling better?" He asks.

I shake my head. "Not really."

My friends look at me sympathetically, not wanting to part. I nod. Lydia takes my hand and a warm feeling shoots through me.

"Tonight, you can come to my place. Everyone. Okay?"

I nod. My friends slowly leave me and Stiles.

"Come with me," Stiles says.

I nod. He takes my hand and pulls me through the cemetery. I bite my lip and brush my fingers through my hair. We say nothing as he leads me to a different part of the cemetery. He stops in front of another gravestone. I read the name on it. Claudia Stilinski. I stare at the stone. Longer than anticipated. Stiles lost his mother before I did. He knows how I feel. I look at him and he's staring at the stone.

"Dementia," he says. I look at him. "She died of Dementia. She always thought someone was trying to hurt her. She was nervous and anxious. And she died. And it couldn't be helped. When it's your time, it's your time."

More tears delicately drip down my face.

"I'm saying it wasn't your fault. You can't protect everybody, Aura. Your mom and Jay are why you try so hard. Why you put your life on the line."

I wipe the tears away and leads me out of the cemetery. I look at the boy. He says nothing. I don't know what to do. I have to do something. Have to say something?

Don't I?

"It sucks right?" I ask as I let out a sob.

"It does. Life sucks."

"Don't die." Stiles looks at me and I bite my lip. "I know it's stupid to say. But I've lost my mother, my best friend, I almost lost Lydia, and Scott and- and--"

My words are broken when Stiles places his lips on mine. He grabs my face, holding me in place. I keep my hands at my side awkwardly not knowing what to do but I kiss back. He slowly pulls away. I search his light brown eyes and he stares at me with his mouth open agape.

"Why'd you do that?" I ask.

"I don't know."

We are silent staring at each other. Unable to approach the situation.

"Why'd you kiss me the night you found me when I'd crashed my jeep?" Stiles asks.

"Because you were alive."

He stares at me for a moment. My cheeks get hot. Stiles and I look away from each other. He moved his hands from my face and pulls something out of his pocket. A velvet box.

"I'm not proposing or anything," he clarifies whilst making me laugh wholeheartedly. He gives the box to me. "Open it."

I open the box. My eyes begin to well with tears as I stare into the box.

"Stiles."

"I cleaned it and..."

I wrap my arms around his neck. "Thank you."

It's Jay's ring. Cleaned and put on a chain.

"Can I put it on you?" He asks.

"I don't know. My necklace--"

"I don't care if it burns me."

I smile. "Okay."

I pull away. He puts his arms around my neck and closes his eyes preparing for the sizzle. But it never comes. I reach up to touch the pendant and it gets hot. I hiss and let it go. I look back at Stiles.

"Let's get it off of you," he tells me.

He takes the malicious pendant off of me and replaces it with the necklace. I smile down at it and it starts to glow.

"I-It's glowing. Is that good?" Stiles asks.

I stare at it. It's reassuring. "I would hope so."

"Let's get to Allison's."

~

"Stop kicking me," I hear Isaac mumble sleepily.

"Shut up," Stiles replies. His breath seems to hit my neck.

I slowly open my eyes. I look down. There he is with his face nuzzled into the crook of my neck. I turn to look behind me. Lydia has her arms draped around Allison while Allison is mimicking the same actions to me. Scott is on the other side of Stiles while Isaac lays at our feet. I smile and lay down.

"You okay?" Stiles murmurs sleepily.

I smile and kiss the top of his head. "I'm fine."

These were my friends. All of them.