It Is What It Is

Phone Calls

"You're going to have to tell them one day, Jess." Sarah said, placing a reassuring hand on Jessica's shoulder.

"I know."

"You don't have to do it today or tomorrow. Or ten years from now for that matter. You do it when it's right for you." Sarah smiled at her lover,"But you will have to tell them one day. You can't leave them in the dark forever."

"No, it's important that I do it today. I'm done hiding from my kids, Sarah." Jessica sighed.

There was a small moment of silence between the two. Both women knew the risk they were about to take telling Jessica's children about their relationship. How would the react? How would they react to their mothers sudden attraction to a woman? How would they react to the fact that Jessica was in a relationship with someone who was 27 years younger than she was? Would they embrace it? Would they reject her completely?

Everyone of those questions terrified Jessica. Her children had been her lifeline. If it weren't for them, she very well could have been gone, both emotionally and physically. She had Sarah now, who would stick by her side and support her until the end of their days. But Sarah wasn't Shura, Hannah, or Walker. Sarah wasn't her child.

"Who do you think will take it better?" Sarah said quietly.

"Hannah, she's always been the accepting one. If anything happens with the other two, she'll be the one to put this family back together." Jessica replied.

Sarah smiled at her.

"Then call her up first so that way she has a heads up if shit hits the fan."

Sarah walked across the room, kissed Jessica's temple, whispered a quiet ,"Good luck", and then left.

Jessica sighed and pulled up Hannah's number.

No time like the present I guess. And she pressed call.

One ring. Two. Three.

"Hey mom, what's up?" A chipper Hannah answered.

"Well, um. Well-how do I...Do you have a minute?"Jessica asked, fumbling over her words.

"Yeah, just give me a sec, I have to finish up this last bit of laundry."

There was a pause that seemed like it lasted for hours. Jessica had no idea how she would approach this. She just couldn't come up with anything to say, she was going in blind, and she didn't like fumbling around in the dark.

"Alright, now that's done. What'd you wanna talk about?" Hannah said.

"I love you." Jessica said abruptly.

"Well, I love you too."

"I just want you to know that."Jessica said seriously.

"Mom, is everything okay?" Hannah sounded concerned now.

"Everything's fine, wonderful really."

"Then why did you-" Jessica cut her off.

"I'm with someone."

Silence.

"Okay? And?" Hannah finally said.

"I'm with someone, and I don't really know how to tell you this, but...um."

"Who is he?"

Shit.

"Well, that's the thing.."

"Mom. Are you telling me that, he's a..."

"She, yes. I'm with a woman." Jessica held her breath.

"Well, who is she? Do I have to put the fear of God in her? 'Cuz you know I will." Hannah continued as if her mother hadn't just dropped the gay bomb on her.

"Now don't be mad when I tell you. I really do care about her."

"Well, out with it then."

"It's Sarah."

Silence again.

"Sarah? As in Sarah Paulson?" There was no malice in her tone, no surprise, no anything really. It almost sounded like she knew.

"Yeah. That Sarah." Jessica prepared herself for a response.

"Hold on mom." There was a commotion in the background before he heard Hannah yell,"Walker! You owe me 20 bucks! Shura! I need your 20 too!"

"Excuse me?"

"Hold, on. Okay, you're on speaker phone now."

"First of all," Jessica started in that 'mom' tone,"Why are you all together? And why the hell was there a bet?"

"Well," Hannah started,"we all kinda knew it would happen eventually."

"Walker didn't think you guys would ever have the guts to go for it." Shura said next.

"Oh fuck off, you thought she was gonna get with dad again." Walker retorted.

"You fuck off, we all knew something was gonna happen." Shura shot back.

"Anyway, we all bet on someone that could make you happy. But I won, so that's all that matters." Hannah cut in.

"I swear to God, it's like you're all still 10 years old." Jessica laughed.

That answered on question.

"But, you didn't answer as to why you're all together."

"Oh, Sarah called to tell us that you would be calling. And we just kinda guessed that this is what it might be." Walker explained.

Trust Sarah to warn my kids.

"Well, now you know. And I hope it's okay with you all." Jessica said quickly.

"Of course it's okay. We're really happy for you, Mom. Really, we are." Shura said.

Jessica smiled into the phone. Her kids were okay with her, with Sarah, with them. Her kids would still be there for her and she could keep the one thing that gave her the happiness her children just couldn't provide: Sarah.