It Is What It Is

How The Mighty Have Fallen

Sarah was struggling. Sitting in a horrible hospital chair, she was struggling. And she had been for a long time. 

Sarah was 38 and Jessica was 64 when the two of them decided to try things out. Asking for permission was more of a formality than anything else, the technically had been together for months but neither of them felt the need to put a name on what they were. They lived together, they celebrated holidays with each others families. They attended every premier, Q & A, award luncheons, Gala's, pretty much any public outing you can think of. As far as they were concerned, they were together, and that was enough. 

Sarah still remembered the day Jessica asked to be hers.

~

Sarah was sitting in the den of their New York home when she heard Jessica arrive. It was her signature open the door, two clicks of her heels, close the door, throw keys on table and sigh when taking shoes off. Moments later she heard Jessica call out:

"Sarah? Sarah, honey could you come help me really quick."

Hoisting herself up from the chair, Sarah hollered,"Be right there, Jess." back.

Sarah walked quickly out of the den, down the hall, and rounded the corner to the entry hall of their home quickly as she came, she stopped.

And there was Jessica, down on a knee, a small, worn box in one hand, the other running through her hair. 

"Jessica..." Sarah said in disbelief. "Jess, we don't have to..."

"Will you marry me?" Jessica said quickly cutting Sarah off.

A slow smile spread across Sarah's face and she began to cry.

"Yes." 

Jessica looked surprised.

"Really?"

"Really."

Sarah walked towards Jessica and extended her left hand out. Gently, Jessica took the hand, opened the box, and placed the ring on her finger. It was a simple ring, a solid gold band with a single diamond. It was perfect.

As soon as she placed the ring on her finger, Jessica shot up and wrapped her arms around Sarah's waist and pulled her close. Sarah had her right arm around Jessica's neck and her left hand on her shoulder. They didn't kiss, they stood in each others presence, listening to each other breathe, inhaling each others scent, just being together.

Sarah finally broke the silence.

"So, where'd you get the ring anyway?"

Jessica smiled.

"It was my mothers." Sarah gave her an incredulous look. "It was supposed to go on my finger one day, but I figured you would appreciate it much more than I ever could."

~

Sarah sat in that chair and looked at that ring. 

It had been 30 years since that day and the ring still meant everything to her. 

Jessica had turned 94 a few months back and everything seemed to be fine. She was healthy as a horse, still doing her photography, and instead of acting, she had taken up as a producer. 

It was only two months ago that things had started to go wrong.

At first, it was only small things. She'd go to the store and would forget one thing. The two of them would be having a conversation and Jessica would ask the same question two or three time. Names of people would escape her. 

Whenever Sarah would bring it up, Jessica would always laugh it off and chalk it up to old age.

Then it started to get worse, and fast. Jessica began forgetting important dates, she'd walk into a room and have no idea why she was even there, it even had gotten to the point where she began to forget her children's names.

Sarah could remember the look of horror that spread across Jessica's face when she called Hannah, Haley. 

Then it got to the point where she hardly recognized Sarah anymore.

Funny how that happens. The great Jessica Lange, who could memorize an entire scrpit in 72 hours, had fallen victim to Alzheimer's.

It killed Sarah to watch Jessica, a once strong, independent woman, looked so frail and frightened. 

"Sarah?" 

Her head shot up.

"Yes?"

"Where am I?" Jessica questioned, looking around the room.

"You're in the hospital, Jess." Sarah said sadly.

"Why?"

The younger woman sighed.

"Your memory, it's not good."

"Ah, that's just old age, darling. Nothing to be worried about."Jessica brushed it off.

Sarah turned to look out the window. Oh how she wished that's all it was. She wished that it was anything else. Anything would be better than Jessica's suffering.

"I love you. I love you Jessica Lange." Sarah said quietly.

"I love you too, Sarah Lange." 

Jessica reached out to touch Sarah, but her hand stopped mid-air. 

"Jessica?" Sarah reached out to try and bridge the space.

Jessica pulled her hand back quickly. 

"Jessica are you-" 

"Who are you? Why are you here?" That terrified look came back to Jessica's face. 

There was no use in explaining, she wouldn't remember in five minutes. Sarah looked away one more time, so that way the woman she loved wouldn't see her tears fall.