The one who was loved (a Niall Horan love story)

Chapter 12. The truth

*flash back*

"Derek you know I love you more than anything right?" I looked into his eyes deeply, wanting nothing more then him.

"Of coarse I know Lacie and I love you too, forever." His eyes fluttered as he pulled my hips closer to his while we swayed to the music of the empty room. My hands felt their way to his face as I stroked his cheek before pecking his soft, pink lips.

My heart rate sped as we continued our kiss. It was always perfect when we were together...

I shot out of my bed , my head pounding and eyes watery. I knew I was crying in my sleep again, I tended to do that a lot since Derek left. I just have been missing him so much lately. I haven't talked to Niall for a few days but we've been texting off and on. We planned to meet up yesterday but I just wasn't in the mood to see him. I've even been thinking about giving Niall the dress back and saying I can't go. I just wish he could have known why I'm not trying to be closer to him than I was. It's not that I don't like him, it's just that I miss Derek more than ever and he doesn't even understand yet. I wish I could tell him but there's no way I could do that. I wouldn't know how to. Just thinking about it gives me shivers and I pull my blanket closer to my chest.

It was only 8:00 but after having that stupid dream I probably won't be able to go back to sleep anyways. I get up and take my phone off its tanggled charger and text Niall to see if he's awake. I really do need to talk to him and he deserves to know why I haven't been taking to him much at all. He deserves to know everything. Really he does, he's such an amazing perosn and I just feel like if I tell him and everything goes good then I won't feel like I have a weight on my back anymore. It will be hard but I need do it. He deserves it.

I was getting ready to go to Nialls place, brushing my hair and teeth and all the usual. I knew my Mom had to know I was up because I was making a TON of noise. I didn't even care at this point. I just was so scared to tell Niall, mostly becase I haven't told even my closest friends about what happend with Derek, now im about to tell 1/5 of the worlds biggest boy band about my dead ex boyfriend. My hands where shaking from my nervous, what if he thought it was stupid to still be sad over something that happend long ago, what if he thought I was some crazy person, what if I started crying. I knew I was probably going to cry, I've cried more times since derek has pasted then I have in my whole life. I swear if I collected all my tears they would fill a pool. It was time for me to let go now though, I was tired of always feeling guilty and sad, woundering if Derek would like or dislike what I was doing. I just needed to get things off my shoulders and start fresh. I wanted to have a good time in London and not have to always feel depressed about Derek, I mean that's what I came here to do right? I came here to clear my mind of Derek and that's exactly what I was going to do. I needed to try and put my mind to rest and let loose of the past, my past.

As I walked out of the bathroom and into the kitchen my Mother was waiting for me just like I knew she would be.

"why are you up so early? Are you going somewhere?" my Mom questioned me

"just going over to Niall's place for a bit, I'll be home soon" I walked past her and out the door.

~*2 hours later*~

We sat on the couch, I was curled up beside Niall and he was holding my hand tightly as I began to tell him it all.

"Me and Derek met in high school. I knew I loved him the minute I saw him, it wasnt becase he was attractive but becase I could she his heart and his soul and I knew we were meant to be together. We talked for a while before we actually started to date and it was just wonderful. After we had been talking we stared to date. I knew I loved him, he was all I wanted and all I needed. He was my missing piece, really. We dated for a few years and things were just perfect, I loved him more than anything honestly, we decided to take our first real vacation together over a summer. Just the two of us. I was so happy. the first night we were there I wanted to go out and celebrate, Derek didn't want to though. I figured I could just go by myself and everything would be fine but I was wrong. So wrong." I felt water burst into life inside my eyes but tried to blink it all away. I failed.