In his darkest hours, he felt so numb to everything. It was like everything became quiet and non existent. And it wasn't fair. It was just straight out unfair because Luke thought he deserves some form of happiness sometime. He'd never been able to just give up. To, Calum giving up was the solution for almost everything. But in that moment, Luke felt the same as Calum because after all the blows, he didn't know if he had enough standing ground left. Contrast had never been this hard. Things had never been this complicated or confusing. There was few moments where he felt like he could just breathe.
The idea of having a peace of mind seemed to stray further and further into the woods, like watching yourself slowly descend down a deep hole. You never really appreciate tranquility until the moment where you're caught at the fangs of chaos. Luke just wanted to give up. Give up on worrying. Give up on Calum and the migraine that entailed his presence.
His eyes blurred reality when he looked down and gently removed the paper towels he placed over his thriving flesh in order to stop the blood loss. Blood flowed the towels that had turned crimson at the corners and too wet to spunge up the blood. He looked at the tore skin, flesh poking outside the pools of blood slowly making its way down his arm and onto his clothes. It felt eerie but he could barely feel the pain at times. No, at such a level he wouldn't feel a splinter.Yet couldn't help but feel guilt; guilty because now he was justified to be the bad guy--this little issue was just the tip of the iceberg to being done with Calum. This, finally, was too much. Calum's madness drew him out to places filled with full-blown violence and now not only was it damaging on Luke but it was dangerous.
This wasn't another pretext or another break, this was finally finishing it with Calum. This meant cutting all ties and relation. The only question was, were Luke's affections strong enough to overcome a powerful will.
It was easier to think about the end when Calum was in the other room behind closed doors. Luke did his best at not being mad at Calum for getting so worked up over a few calls. Sure, Luke might have been slightly in the wrong but the fact that Calum wasn't stable enough to speak instead of violence was a definitive sign. He just simply needed to breathe, he couldn't be in the same room as Calum. He needed to think straight because when he looked at Calum, he didn't see a psychopath but a victim. But how long would Luke's love blind him to leeway of excusing Calum as the victim and not the predator.
Calum was the predator. He was fierce and hungry for blood, with jaws for teeth, claws for fingers, emptiness in the place for compassion. Resting on a throne of bones and spikes he was a savage deep inside, and Luke could see that he so willfully tried to hide his demons but sometimes madness was stronger than any element. Madness could tear through the very threshold of reality into other dimensions the mind was not yet ready for. Madness spills, staining roses that could never be restored.
Knock! Knock. He groaned when he flexed his arm muscles to get up and scrunched up his face as if it decreased the pain. "Coming," he hollered. He carefully walked around the mess and the broken shards on the ground. He had to kick clothes out the way to make a passage from the door. With his good hand he grabbed the thin knob and pulled the door back.
Cara, Michael and Ashton stood at the door with a look over their faces--a look that only made everything gloomier but more in the field of reality. It was refreshing really. Luke could honestly say he felt like he was stuck in a soulless limbo, and seeing their faces brought him back to life.
"Hey," Luke said, holding the door open and allowing the to pile in one by one.
"Gross."
"What the hell."
"This place is a dump."
All those things were expected and Luke took them like a champion. Home decor was not about to be his concern for the time being. "Nice to see you guys too."
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The Perfect Sinner (cake boyxboy)
Fanfiction"Love like this must be sin." Chapter 1: The Perfect Sinner Chapter 2: The Mad Sinner