Didn't we almost have it all? [Completed]

Edie, yesterday, today, tomorrow, forever, always

19 months earlier

November 2014

"Why won't you ever yell at me me when I put you through shit like this!" At this point he was full on screaming at me right in my face. I made a motion to leave. "Well go on then, run and hide behind Tom. F**** him for all I care."

"You know I wouldn't."

"Now do I?"

"Yes you do and if you don't then you are dumber than I ever could imagine."

"Just let me know the truth, you can't stand me know, can you?"

"The truth is that you are a paranoid rock star who likes to think a lot of things that are complete and utter bull s*it."

We had officially lived with each other for exactly a month, and although we had only been home at the same time a handful of times but our relationship were once again cracking at the edges. Maybe the problem was that we hadn't been at home together enough. Hadn't even bought that couch we had been talking about yet.

"You know what you can have this back." I said and pulled my engagement ring of my finger and flung it in his face. "How is that for yelling at you!" With that I stormed out of the apartment and hailed a cab to go to Jessica's town house.

∞

I ended up staying for a week at Jessica's, crashing on her couch. Forcing her to listen to my sobbing about if he was so conscious about the 'shit' he put me through, why couldn't he just not do it? Her only advice to me was to give him the ultimatum of rehab or I walk out. However as soon as I met up with him to talk about it, I couldn't do it. He was so remorseful, and like two magnets attached to each other he drew me back in.

" I didn't mean what I said, I was just so upset." As soon as I had laid eyes on him I knew I would forgive him.

"I know love, it's okay."

"Do you want to go out and buy that couch we were talking about?"

And just like that we were back to our domestic bliss of home cooked meal, and bad television during the evening. When we were like that I didn't even remember that he had accused me of running away to sleep with my band mate not even two weeks ago. But I just wanted us to work out that much that I didn't care.

Creatively I was more inspired than I had ever been and I split most of my time between the studio and our apartment. Occasionally we would go out for dinner, but the press had found out that we lived together and we had at least one photographer on the sidewalk outside of our building everyday, and we had found that it was easier to leave the building separately. This resulted in us staying in together more nights than not the nights we were both not occupied elsewhere.

One day when I got home I hadn't more than opened the door before Noel had his arms around me whispering excitedly in my ear. "There you are, most beautiful person. I have been waiting for you to get home." I could feel his excitement radiating through his entire body as he pulled my body still wrapped in his embrace with him towards his 'office', that was really just the room that housed all of his instruments and the tools he used for recording.

"I wrote you a song."

"That is a first."

"Not really, but we can talk about that later. Right now you need to listen." Before I had the chance to ask him which song he had written about me previously he had already put a pair of big headphones that shut out all outside noise over my ears and started the song.

It started out mellow, stripped to only guitar and Noel's voice before a very groovy bass started up with some drums in the background. At this point Noel tried to tell me something but I could only watch his lips move, before I shook my head to indicate I couldn't hear him. So instead he grabbed a whiteboard that was full of scribbled cords, wiped a clean slot and wrote something on it. As he turned it to me I couldn't help but smile when I read. 'The bass play the rhythm that my heart beats in whenever I think of you'.

"I love it I told him when I had finished listening." I truly did. "It sounds like nothing like your band though.

"I know. I am thinking it will end up on a solo album."

"Quit side tracking me now, I want to know what other song you have written about me?"

"Who said it was only one song?" He gave me his usual smile and his eyes twinkled at me. He was obviously teasing. I wasn't having any of it.

"At least half the songs on our last album were about you."

"I didn't know you, when you released your last album." I deadpanned. Was he joking with me? I knew he had let on that he had admired me from afar before we officially met. But this was more wasn't it?

"Well 'Hope' was about my hope to meet you one day. 'Only You' was only about you and my fantasy about us, and 'love from afar' I wrote after I saw you in New York." He actually looked serious now. "I loved you as soon as I laid eyes on you."

I didn't know what to say to that. "From then on, you were my inspiration. In a way every song I have written since that day, and will probably ever write, have been about you.

"So solo album, huh." I felt heartless, no matter how much I loved him, I could never express it the way he did.

"Did you really love it?" He asked not as sure about my feelings as he was about his own.

"I did. I just can't express myself the way you do." This made him smile, and I wished I could make him that happy more often.

"Oh I almost forgot, I have another surprise for you!" This made him even more excited if that was even possible. "Look what I go." He held up his hand so I could look at it and there on his ring finger, instead of a wedding band or an engagement ring was a tattoo that folded around his finger. Like a permanent ring around his finger.

"I wanted to have a sort of engagement ring on my own." As I focused my eyes on the text that was written in two lines around his finger, in the most delicate cursive I realised that it said 'Edie, yesterday, today, tomorrow, forever, always'.

"You didn't have to get that, what if we break up?"

"Never." To him it was that simple.

"Still."

He gave me a forlorn look. "I wanted to."

"I am sorry, I appreciate it, I love you."

In a heartbeat he had forgotten all about my hesitation. "Let's celebrate, I already put the champagne in some ice!"

And celebrate we did, and by the end of the night we both had new matching tattoos on the ribcage on the same side as our hearts. "Because my heart already beats to the rhythm of you he had told me."

And how could I not get his name tattooed when he already had my name in two different places. So I had, in my drunken state agreed to let him write his own name on my ribcage, and then I let him do the tattoo. While the real tattoo artist looked on and snapped a picture, no doubt for his own Instagram. We were great publicity after all.

∞