Didn't we almost have it all? [Completed]

5

Present day

"Hi" His breath catching as he looked into my eyes.

"I didn't mean to"

"Well then what the hell did you mean to?"

The conversation was still fresh in my memory. I had had to cancel the last two weeks of my tour.

"You promised you would stop using." I had looked at him with equally pleading and accusing eyes, and he had just looked at me with his sad puppy dog eyes. I could tell he already knew it was over, for real this time, and our hearts were both broken.

"I guess we are just not the type of people who, in the end, have each other." He looked at me sadly.

"Even if there is nothing I wish for more. I will never stop loving you"

"I am sorry, I just can't do this anymore." I said my already broken heart shattering to the sound of my words. Even if I loved him with all my heart our love just wasn't meant to be.

I knew he went to rehab straight after we broke up. I took the opportunity to empty our apartment of my things. I tried to write him a letter, but I couldn't find the words, so I just left him to come home to a half empty apartment.

I knew that if I kept in touch with him I might cave and give him another chance, but I also knew my heart wouldn't be able to recover again, and no matter how much I still loved him I had to stay away. I even forbade Sadie to mention him, but she would anyway sometimes. Always referring to him as "He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named". She always stayed loyal to me though, and never tried pushing me into talking to him, even though I had a feeling he had tried multiple times to get in touch with me through her.

∞

"Sometimes when I think about us, I forget about all the bad days, and I can only remember the love." I had had one two many drinks and was getting emotional to Jessica and Sadie.

"He has really changed you know, I think he has finally beaten his demons." Sadie was giving me her most sympathetic look. It made me feel like she pitied me and I didn't like it.

"Stop giving me that look."

"Even if I don't think you should just forget about the things he did. I still think you need to talk to him." Jessica's look was even worse.

"Have you two completely forgotten how he just dropped off the face of the earth for a week to get high." It was more of a statement than a question directed at them as I know they both fully remembered. Sadie had been even more furious than I was at the time. Noel's binge had had the perfect timing of occurring two weeks before she was supposed to get married, and we were both meant to have been a part of the wedding party. I was still away on my tour that was planned to end three days before the wedding. As it was I felt obliged to cancel the remaining dates and come home to Sadie as it were we didn't even know if Noel was alive.

When we finally found him it was because he had overdosed and instead of getting married Sadie had spent two weeks with me by his hospital bed while he was in a coma. As soon as we came home from the hospital Noel had tried to act as if nothing happened, however that is when I knew I was done.

"You know well honey, that me not getting married was the best thing that ever came of that entire ordeal. So don't even try."

"I know, I know. Sorry." Mathias, Sadie's ex-fiancé had turned out to be a real jerk, and the extra time they had held out for their wedding had shown his true colors.

"Have you listened to his album yet?"

"No and I am not intending to."

"I think you should." Sadie, always being prepared quickly put her hand into her bag and grabbed a copy she had no doubt been carrying with her waiting for the perfect opportunity to force it onto me. "See no excuse, take this, and promise me you will listen to it. Okay." It was her, don't mess with me voice so there was nothing I could do but accept the record and put it into my own hand bag.

"Okay." I repeated her words with no intention to actually stay true to the promise.

∞