Looking Back

Chapter 22: Sunday

The next morning, it was past one o'clock in the afternoon when I woke up. I missed the morning service. Climbing out of bed, I went to the bathroom to get freshened up. My eyes were puffy and red from crying all night last night. I gave up trying to look descent. It was too much trouble and it didn't feel worth trying. Instead I went to the living room where Felisha was sitting on the couch watching the church channel.

"Hey," she said noticing me as I stepped in the room.

"Why didn't you wake me up for church," I asked, exhausted.

"You needed rest," she said. "And I didn't want to wake you."

"Oh."

"I made you some breakfast. It's lying on the kitchen counter."

"Thanks."

I went to the kitchen where the smell of bacon grease was coming from. The plate of scrambled eggs, sausage, and buttered toast made my stomach growled. With all that went on last night, I didn't think I would be this hungry. When I finished eating, I told Felisha I needed to go home.

I couldn't stay with her.

She didn't like me being at my house by myself, but I insisted.

After she dropped me off, I went inside the quiet apartment and looked around. Memories of last night played through my mind haunting me. My dad lying on the tile floor passed out in the bathroom. I looked around noticing the house was a mess. My dad's friends must have come over while I was gone.

I decided to clean the mess before my dad was to come home.

About an hour later, I was done. I went to the kitchen to pour me a glass of water. That's when I heard the front door open and shut. I quietly set the cup down and went to the living room to see who would just walk in without knocking.

I froze in my tracks when I saw who it was. It was the guy who was in the kitchen when I had to grab my dad a beer and another one of my dad's friends that I've seen a few times.

"Is your dad home kid?" asked the guy who made the comment about me. He was wearing a long black t-shirt.

"No. What do you want?" I asked trying not to let fear creep into my voice.

"What time will he be back," asked the other guy. He was wearing a red hat.

"I don't know." I looked at the front door that they were standing in front of. I decided I was going to go through the back.

"You don't have to be afraid of me kid," said the guy in black.

"I'm not afraid of you. I was just leaving." I turned for the door. And twisted the knob. It was locked. Footsteps hit the floor fast behind me.

I fumbled with the locks which gave them enough time to grab me. "Let me go!" I screamed.

He quickly covered my mouth and tried dragging me down the hall. Reaching out with my arms my hand bumped into something. I sounded like glass. Quickly grasping the stray beer bottle off of the table, I hit him in the head with it. Glass shattered everywhere.

He let me go.

I ran for the front door. The other guy intercepted me. "I got her," he said pulling me by my hair.

"Good. It's time she learned a lesson."

After the men left, I got dressed and stayed in my room with the door locked. I didn't know what to do. Petrified, I stared out in space for a very long time. Hour's maybe.

Hours later I heard a car door shut. Then a knock sounded on the front door. My first thought was they were back.

"Tamara!"

More knocking.

"Tamara, are you here? I came to get you for church," said Felisha. Soon I heard footsteps come closer to my room. "Tamara."

I began rocking myself and crying.

"Tamara." She shook the door knob. "Tamara, open the door. It's me Felisha, sweetheart. Please come open the door," she said urgently.

I quickly got to my feet and ran to the door unlocking it. I flew into her arms crying until my ribs hurt. Felisha held me tightly and prayed over me until I calmed down enough to tell her what happened. When I finished telling her what those creeps did to me she was in tears.

When she got a hold of herself, she called the police. They sent someone to get a description of the people who did it. I knew their names so that was going to make it easier for them.

The police apologized to me and said he would do whatever he could to catch them.

When he was gone, I made Felisha promise not to tell anyone. Not Tanner or Pastor Frank. I didn't want anyone to know this embarrassing, shocking, and horrifying news. Especially not Tanner.

That evening I didn't go to church, because I wasn't feeling well, but the doctor called Felisha and told her that my dad could go home. Felisha again insisted that I stay at her place, but I couldn't.

When my father was home, I thought somehow he would be different. At least change a little, but he was the exactly the same before I left him. He was angry the whole entire day. He complained about the doctors worrying about his health and heavy drinking.

My life was breaking into shambles. Troubles were rising up from the left and the right. God seemed so far away. Why didn't he prevent this from happening to me? If he loved me, why did he not show it?

I pondered over this for the last few weeks of school. Through those weeks, I stopped going to church and the library after school. I avoided talking to Tanner and began to distance myself from those I loved most...including God.