Abandonment

{Four} Attempted Amends

              Don't' feel sad over someone who gave up on you. Feel sad for them because they gave up on someone who would have never given up on them

                                                                -Unknown

  

     Probably the worst thing I have ever done as a child, and ever will do, was lie to my mother about why I was spending so much time with Aunt Millie. What I told her?

"I really want to know everything about her and Uncle Leo now that I know the truth."

What was really going on?

"Aunt Millie, I want you to teach me to time travel so that I can go be with Cap."

Knowing that my aunt and uncle worked everything out and got their happily after had propelled me to go after mine. I was not diving into this headfirst, though. Nothing would happen unless I had the gift. As much as Russ understood my love for Cap, he wouldn't agree to take me back to that peril. Maybe he might have if that whole almost-raped incident hadn't happened—remind to thank Tolbert again for that—there was just no way.

"You will tell your mother, though," Aunt Millie had made me promise.

I'd foolishly agreed.

"Okay," she said now, "so what you need to know is the circumstances surrounding precise time travel. We all have different levels of time travel. I happen to be able to do it with just an object from that time and can manipulate it to whenever I want. Your brother, on the other hand, is a little less trained and aware of what he's doing. It sounds like it was a combination of holding his talisman and in the spot y'all were in. I also happen to think you had a lot to do with it."

"So do you think I can only travel with him?" I asked.

My aunt shrugged her delicate shoulders. "Maybe. But we're gonna find out for sure." It was then that she produced the picture frame Russ had held that fateful day. "Russ bought this just in case when y'all came back the last time. He gave it to me, though. Thought that I'd be better keeping it from you since I'm farther away..."

A pang of guilt hit me in the chest. My family really was trying their best to protect me. Doing this felt like throwing their concern back in their face. I knew that was how they'd view it. I just wished they could see I was doing this because I knew it was my destiny. What was the worst that could happen? It wouldn't work out between us? I had to leap in and take the risk. It was worth it.

"Now," my aunt said, bringing me back to reality, "you're going to have to concentrate hard. You have to know the exact date and time you want to go back to."

"I want to go back right after I left."

"Do you remember the exact date?"

I knew Russ would know. "Honestly, no," I answered honestly. "Everything was happening so fast, I couldn't keep track. I don't even know how many days we were gone."

My aunt grimaced, trying—and failing—to force a smile. "Honey...you're kinda shit out of luck if you don't know your date."

"Russ knows..." I muttered quietly.

Aunt Millie drew in a slow breath through her tiny nose. "Ya just have to make everything difficult, don't you?"

I smiled apologetically.