Don't Forget To Breathe

Chapter 6

I have two states of being. The first is to be completely in tune with my emotions, making me feel everything to the tenth degree. This typically leaves me extremely exposed and susceptible to getting hurt. The other is to be numb, which is pretty self-explanatory. In those instances, I walk through life like a ghost completely and utterly out of touch with my surroundings. It's almost like an out of body experience where I'm merely a puppet being controlled by my daily routine but not actually aware of my surroundings.

These stages have never mixed before this very moment. After a few minutes of convincing Camila to come upstairs, she is now walking behind me as Ally and Jason's eyes bore into our backs.

In this moment I feel like a ghost watching myself experience this from outside my body, but still feeling every emotion to its fullest extent. My heart beating uncontrollably, the nerves in my stomach and I swear if I concentrate heard enough I can even feel the beads of sweat pouring out of my palms.

I hear her voice ask if I was sure, as the elevator doors closed in front of us. I heard myself tell her that I was and thus begun the longest elevator ride of my life. I silence fell upon us but I was too distracted by the thoughts in my head to contemplate whether it was awkward or not. Instead, I'm thinking what the hell I am going to tell Alycia.

There's going to be a hobo sleeping on the couch?

I've been helping her for a few months behind your back and she'll be staying with us now, okay?

I can't say that, can I ? She's won't be staying with us for long. It's just one night.

I released a breath knowing that that was a lie. There was no way I'd allow myself to put her back on the street after inviting her into my home. After I see her resting properly in warm sheets on a mattress my heart would break if I saw her back in the alley. But it's not just my place and I can't that decision on my own.

Fuck, when is this elevator coming to a stop?

My eyes land on Camila who has her arms wrapped around her torso as if she were shielding herself from anything I might say.

I want to tell her something that'll make her immediately comfortable with me but no matter how hard I try I can't find the right words.

The elevator comes to a stop and I exit making sure that Camila is on my trail.

"You live in the penthouse," Camila thought aloud "Of course"

A small smile appeared on my face as I swung open the door to my home. She is clearly intimidated by the lavish surroundings and I find it charming.

"I'll have Ally bring up your stuff," I told her as I lead her down the hall into the guest bedroom. I announced that this is where she would be spending the night.

The room wasn't too large in my opinion but it was rather comfortable and she had her own bathroom.

My ears were tuned into the running water coming from my bedroom but now that we're on the other side of the large penthouse there is no way for me to tell if my girlfriend is still preoccupied in the shower.

"Well, this is it" I announced "If you need to use the bathroom everything that you would need is in there" I mentioned as subtly as possible. Clearly, it was necessary for her to shower but saying it blatantly would be rude.

She gave me a knowing smile, catching on the hint I dropped, before thanking me.

"You know you don't have to do this," she said softly. Her voice was quiet almost as if she were afraid of saying the wrong thing.