Don't Forget To Breathe

Chapter 19

I've lived a fortunate life.

Thus far there haven't been many moments in my life that I regret or wish I could take back and much less erase. I truly believe that both the good and the bad things in life only happen to either teach you something or to make you stronger.

But at this very moment, this is a theory I might have to reconsider.

"I'll leave you two alone" I heard Camila say softly.

The change in her voice was unmistakable. The softness in which she was reading earlier today had shifted to disappointment and it was impossible to miss.

"No," I said "You can stay"

"Lauren" Alycia tried to interrupt

"Anything you have to say to me I'm going to tell her anyways so there's no point in making her leave," I said

I don't know why I am being so defensive.

Alycia and I don't hate each other, we didn't end on bad terms. But the fact is that I want to be with Camila and I can't allow an ex to get in the way of that. I need Camila to know that she is not a rebound and no matter how much affection I still have reserved for Alycia, I need to give Camila her place.

"Fine" Alycia says quietly.

I shut the door behind me as we all silently begin to walk towards the living room.

But before we got there Alycia spoke up

"I'm sorry," she said causing both Camila and I to turn around before we were able to take our seats.

"I shouldn't have left," she said "I miss you and I want to come home"

I can only imagine the amount of people in the world wishing and hoping that their ex would show up at their door and say those exact words.

I, however, am not one of them. I never wanted that. I never cried, I never wished for her to come back and as horrible as it sounds she hasn't occupied my mind for more than a couple seconds since we broke up. Not to mention that the reason for those seconds only happened because I was thinking about telling Camila about our break up.

My immediate reaction was to look over at Camila and her thoughts were written on her face. She looked as if she knew this was a battle she had already lost. In fact, knowing Camila she's probably already thinking about leaving the penthouse to let Alycia and I be. She can't seem to focus her eyes on anyone or anything probably already mentally preparing her goodbye's.

She had no clue just how mistaken she is.

"Alycia" I begin finally focusing my eyes on her.

The model had the same look. She saw that my initial reaction was to look at Camz and she knew.

"You and I were amazing" I begin "You were my best friend and there will never be a point in my life where I regret what we had," I tell her honestly "But it's over" I assure her "And it's going to stay that way" 

Camila's widened eyes find their way towards me and her surprise is unmistakable. 

"Lauren," Alycia offered "I love you" 

I nodded "I love you too" I informed her. 

There would be no point in telling her otherwise because I did, in fact, love her. 

"But we're not in love, and we never have been" I added 

Alycia parted her lips about to speak up again before I cut in