Don't Forget To Breathe

Chapter 10

Emily Dickenson once said that "Saying nothing...sometimes says the most". So in this moment I was trying my best to figure out what this silence means. Alycia is simply looking at me with tear filled eyes and I feel like I've destroyed her but I don't know what to say to make it better.

An "I'm sorry" feels generic and insincere, but I couldn't think of any other words at the moment so we stood there.

Looking at one another with Alessia, Normani and Camila starring at us as well.

I opened my mouth to try to release some kind of explanation but I can't. We've probably spent a little over two minutes in this manner but it has felt like two hours. The silence is painful and though I know that I'm the one that is supposed to speak out here nothing is coming out. I'm just silently praying for someone to rescue me or even better for this all to be a bad dream.

Without a word Camila stood up from the couch and grabbed me by the wrist pulling me towards the door and out into the hallway. This action set everyone else into motion as well, except me. In the background, I could hear Normani approaching Alycia and asking her if she was okay before Camila closed the door behind her.

"What the hell are you doing?" she asked as I leaned back against the wall for support "Don't you love her?"

A million thoughts ran through my head at the question and I knew Camila could tell I was internally panicking. I made a mental note to thank her for getting me out of there, once I regain control of my speech. However, right now my chest is getting tighter and there is nowhere near enough oxygen reaching my lungs.

"Okay," she said softer walking towards me "It's okay" she offered but all I could do was shake my head as I tried to gasp for air.

Did I really just do that? Why did I do it? Wasn't marrying her in the plans anyways? But not right now! Not anytime soon actually!

I felt Camila's soft hands slide onto my cheeks keeping my head focused on her.

"You're okay," she said softly.

My eyes looked up into hers and I immediately felt more relaxed

"Breathe," she said.

I nodded and placed my hands over hers to make sure she kept them in place. I needed to be under her touch right now, I don't know why I just did.

"Don't forget" she smiled slightly.

She was being a dork referencing what I told her in the notes I left for her and I couldn't help but smile at that. It wasn't until she managed to get me out of my head that I realized how close we were to each other.

My body immediately tensed up at the proximity as my eyes glanced down at her lips. It would be a lie if I said I hadn't thought about what it might be like to kiss her, but I couldn't. I have a heartbroken girlfriend on the other side of that door and I have to go back in there and fix this. So I looked Camila in the eyes to answer her earlier question.

"Yes," I whispered softly "I love her" I replied now that my mind was clear.

Camila nodded understandingly and slid her hands down and off my face

"Then go get her," she said stepping back.

With that, the door swung open to reveal Normani who shut the door behind her. Her expression was one of pure concern and I begin to think that maybe she has a heart.

We stand in silence for a few seconds before I speak up

"I gotta talk to her," I say but my voice is weak.