MESS-ENGER (COMPLETED)

32: ENGER

We are looking for potential customer for our product in school and looking for materials to be used in the competition.

"Sino 'yung kachat mo kanina? Nakabukas kanina messenger mo e."

"Nothing. Just search some cardboards and pens."

"Puro ka nothing pag nagtatanong ako. Ang suplado mo talaga. Hindi ka naman ganyan dati. Kaibigan mo pa rin naman ako dude." He tapped my shoulders.

"I'll tell you when I'm ready," I said gruffily.

"Okay, sabi mo e," he said seriously. "Teka, ano nga palang sinalihan mo?"

"General Knowledge."

"Badtrip! Sa math ako napunta. Ang course natin Medical Tech." I laughed. He looked at me.

"Why?"

"Tumawa ka?"

"Is it a crime?"

"No, it's just that....you rarely smile. Improving Tristan!"

I made a serious face for calling me Tristan. Everytime they call me that name, it's hurting inside.

"Seryoso ka na naman. Sige na nga, hindi na kita sisitahin. Let's get going," he exclaimed and turned his back on me.

I was about to enter the magazine's section when I saw someone that made my heart going crazy. I stopped for a moment. She's laughing exasperately. I smiled but suddenly erased when I saw her with someone else. I frowned. My heart sank. Who's that guy?

I clenched my fist. There's a sudden vanquish of anger within me. I didn't expect it. Shit! Yeah, I never thought about it. She has a boyfriend?

It saddened me to think that she's already taken. I fumed silently.

I stared at the guy. He has the looks. They look good together. I gulped when she looked at my direction. I avoided her eyes and I turned my back on them. I hate it! This isn't me. This isn't me at all! Bullshit!

*****

I throw myself in my bed, feeling exhausted. Another tiring day. Another day of pretentions.

I looked at the white ceiling. I wanted to cry but I can't. I was so lonely that I can't even let myself open to everyone. I felt nothing but emptiness.

I opened my phone. I smiled bitterly. There are many messages coming from my schoolmates.

'Hi Tristan. How are you?'

'Tristan, I have the reviewer.'

'Hi Tristan. Can we meet?'

'Tristan son, I will visit you tonight. Don't you miss your mom?'

I wanted to shout and curse everyone.  For pete's sake, I'm not Tristan! Fucking life! I AM TREVOR! Damn it!

Even my mom calls me Tristan and it hurts. Tristan in school. Tristan in parties. Tristan in our house. Tristan everywhere! Do they know how much I wanted to be called by my name? Do they know how much I wanted to be myself. It pained me everytime they see me as someone else. I am a jerk before but is this heartbreaks and pains still not enough for my punishment?

I almost throw my phone in the wall when my messenger pop-up.

MESS: Enger sorry na kanina. Don't be mad.

My heart felt a stinged of calmness. I wiped the single tear escaped from my eyes. I took a deep breath and typed a message. Thank you messenger girl. You're the only one calling me Enger.

I sent a single word to her.

I closed my eyes.

'Thank you messenger girl' I muttered silently and slept with a heavy heart.

(by:hiddenheartless)