Blind // Justin Bieber [under minor editing]

Chapter Twenty Two

I spent the rest of the day with Justin, we lay together in his bed, discussing various things like; what our favourite things were, our school life, our past and what we hope to be in the future.

My head lay on Justin’s chest, his steady, relaxing heartbeat pounding throughout my whole body as it was his. My right arm was placed upon his chest, and Justin took great interest in my fingers. He entwined our fingers and absentmindedly fiddled with the small rose gold ring looped around my pinkie.

The warmth of his body heated mine, having more effect on me than a fireplace would, I’m sure.

Justin’s other hand twirled strands of my curled hair between his fingers, although the ringlets were slowly loosening.

 He nudged my warm neck with his cold nose, the contrast in temperature having full effect on me and it left tingles down my spine. His lips were slightly parted, and so his warm minty breath brushed my cheeks, causing them to become even redder than they were before.

Although he couldn’t see me, he knew just as well as me that I was blushing, as the heat radiated from my cheeks to my neck, and the rest of my face. Although Justin knew, he said nothing, not even a small chuckle leaving his lips.

 “Justin?” I raised my head from his chest, so I could look into his chocolate orbs. His lips stayed parted as he ran his pink tongue along them, moisturising them and letting them shine as any light reflected off them.

I wanted to kiss him, right there and then, nothing was stopping me. Nothing but the fear that if I did kiss him, everything would get out of hand, one thing would lead to another. Although Justin and I had never really shared a heated kiss, or a moment of the sort.

“Mmhmm?” he mumbled, vibrations rippled throughout his body as he spoke, and my hand which was placed firmly on his chest did too. One corner of his lips tugged into a slanted smile, although it didn’t reach his eyes. He was still upset, and it pained me to see him with tears in his eyes.

“What made you think of him all of a sudden?” I questioned. I let out a deep breath I didn’t even know I was holding, and curled my hand into a fist, latching onto the fabric of his shirt.

Hurt, Pain, Hope and Love all washed over his eyes, although they were gone the moment I caught a glimpse at them. Justin sighed, his chest rising and falling yet his heartbeat remained at the slow, steady pace.

He shrugged his shoulders, not wanting to confess to me why he felt so alone at this moment. But me? I felt whole. With Justin, everything just fits into place – as cheesy as that sounds – and all makes sense.

Although I know that if Justin were to leave, my whole world would come crashing down upon me; I would feel stranded.

“I don’t know, I guess it’s because soon it will be a year since he left, and he promised he would be back by then. And then it’s just everything else on top of that,” he stopped himself from speaking any further as I ran the pad of my thumb over his tearstained cheeks. His round cheeks heated and reddened beneath my touch, and I simply couldn’t suppress the wide smile that formed on my lips.

“I just wish I could see you, that’s one of the things I want most in this world” he whispered to me – although it felt as if it was to himself, and meant to be kept unspoken - and I heard every single word. Pain was laced within them, and it taunted me. A wave of pain was sent down my body as my heart punctured at his words. The pain that Justin felt, I felt too – although I knew it wasn’t as bad as what he felt.

“Dad always told me it was meant to be, me being blind that is, and that something good was bound to come out of it. ‘God has his intentions’ he said, and I believed him. I had hope, I believed with everything in me that his words were true” he swallowed the lump within his throat, closing his eyes slightly to prevent tears from falling.

Although it didn’t help – if anything, it encouraged them to flow freely down his smooth cheeks – and a glistening tear raced down his cheek to stop at his defined jaw line. That single tear was followed by another, and another, and another.

I moved my thumb across his cheek and jaw line, trying desperately to prevent them from falling any further.

“But I-I don’t anymore, I just feel like I had the chance t-to be normal, to be able to see; and then I was turned down, rejected, and instead was born blind.” His voice was shaky as he tried his best to control his uneven breathing.

I stayed quiet, knowing that he had so much more to say; so many feeling to let out from his heart where he had them bottled up. He hid his true feelings from to the outer world, so many that now, he couldn’t go on any longer and just had to let them out. And now, secrets were practically pouring out of his plump lips as he confessed everything to me.

“And now moms getting annoyed with me, and leaving me here alone to wallow in my own pity whilst she drives off to work with Jazmyn. I just- I can’t do this anymore Courts” he shook his head frantically, his hands shaking as he hugged my waist, a small whimper leaving his parted lips.

I took no opposition in letting a single tear leave my glazed over eyes, letting it run freely down my cheek and land delicately on Justin’s chest.

 My arms instantly wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer to me and reducing to space between our faces.

“You will get through this – We will get through this. I’ll be there at your side every step of the way. I promise” I mumbled into his ear as I rested my head on his muscle padded shoulder. I knew Justin had heard what I had said as he nodded his head slightly, a small sniffle escaping him.

We both allowed our whimpers and sniffles to die down, our tears drying up and leaving our cheeks feeling unexplainably sticky. “Goodnight” I whispered to Justin as my eyelids slowly started to droop, sleep becoming overpowering as I struggled to stay awake even a second longer.

“Night Courts, thank you” Justin whispered, already half asleep himself. Giving myself no time to reply, my breathing instantly deepened and slowed down to a steady pace as well as my heartbeat.

I finally allowed my eyelids to close, and gave up no resistance before sleep engulfed me.