Was I Ever Innocent?

Chapter Four

It had been a week since I had left Lee. A whole week. Although to be honest it felt like much longer. When you’re used to waking up next to someone for eight years it’d odd waking up to an empty bed. I missed him like mad so much so that just thinking about him made my heart ache. Leaving him was the hardest thing I’d ever done, even labour seemed like a fun ride in comparison. In a way I just wanted to see him to put my mind at ease.

Of course he had been in touch. My phone would go off all day with texts or voicemails of him apologising and begging me to go home. All these attempts got ignored. I needed some space, some time alone with my thoughts. To be honest I wasn’t sure if I would be returning home. Once you’ve left it’s hard to go back. Deep down I wanted to go home but I knew things wouldn’t be the same again. In fact me and Becky had had some very lengthy discussions on the matter. If it wasn’t for her I don’t know what I’d have done. She was my rock.

That day was the day that Lee was due to come and take William out. Just knowing that he was coming made me nervous. How would I feel when I came face to face with him? Obviously, I wanted to look my best- I wanted to show him I wasn’t falling to bits without him. I must have spent nearly two hours getting ready. I wanted to look good, but in a natural way not too over the top. It was more of a boost for me really as I had spent the majority of my time at Becky’s in my sweats and lounging around eating comfort food. Whoever said ice cream mends a broken heart lied!

The clock on the wall in front of me ticked slowly as I nursed my cup of coffee. It was 8.55am, he was due any minute. My fingers found themselves tapping on the table as my eyes stared at the clock. Just before 9.00am I heard a car pull up outside. It had to be Lee. I knew that my thoughts were correct when I heard a heavy knock on the door. My first instinct was to rush to the door but I had to play it cool. Well, try at least.

Casually I strolled to the front door and pulled it open to a very worn out Lee. The bags under his eyes made him look like he hadn’t slept for...well a week. I was just thankful for my miraculous make up otherwise I may have looked as bad, if not worse.

“Lee, come in. William’s in the living room. I’ll go and grab his jacket for you.”

“Aimee. Wait I wanted to talk to you. Can I take you for a coffee later so we can talk?Just need to talk to you. Please.”

“Who exactly will look after William?”

“I will,” Becky chirped up from behind me. Great. I just had to get out of it.

“No. I can’t. You’ve done so much for us already. Thank you for the offer though.”

“I won’t hear of it. He’s my Godson so could do with spending some time with the little fellow. You are going.”

“Fine,” I told her through gritted teeth. That was one of the things about Becky- there was no saying no to her. She was as stubborn as a mule.

“Lee can I have a word please?” Becky asked as she beckoned him to her. They headed into the kitchen so I took that as my opportunity to go get William ready. At that moment in time Lee was probably getting a right telling off from Becky.

In the living room my son was enthralled with his building bricks. He didn’t even notice me until I spoke to him. “William Daddy is here.”

“Dada?” he asked excitement burning in his eyes.

“Yep. So let’s get your coat on monkey.”

Usually it can be a bit of a battle to get his coat on but that day he put it on without any fuss. He must have been eager. Bless him.

Within seconds William was running past me to William who was stood in the doorway. Lee picked him up and smothered him with kisses.

“I’ve missed you little man.” That comment stung me. I had taken a little boy away from his Daddy, was I really doing the right thing?