Victim of Love

21) The Talk

[Monday Night – Dan's room]

Dan's POV

"So...you wanted to talk about something?" I ask, frowning.

Mark sits down on the middle of bed and I sit in front of him. "Yeah, we really need to talk about everything."

"Define everything."

"You know what I mean, Daniel. I'm talking about our relationship and everything that's happened over the month."

I divert my eyes, feeling embarrassed about everything. "Well, there's nothing to talk about because nothing happened."

Mark frowns. "What do you mean nothing happened? A lot happened between us! We kissed, I gave you hickeys, we slept in the same bed shirtless! We've had so many sexual moments! How can you say nothing happened!?"

I glare at him, even though I don't want to. Everything he's saying is true and it's definitely something we need to talk about, but I don't think I'm ready to come out with my feelings.

I know I'm being a coward but what if after sometime Mark gets sick of me and my attitude and decides to break up with me. I don't think I can handle that, already in such a short time I've let my guard down around him and came to care about him deeply.

Honestly, I have never felt like this with anybody, my feelings for Noelle while we were dating didn't even come close to what I feel about Mark. I am scared of these intense feelings.

Mark gently cups my face. "Dan, I don't want to force you into anything you don't want to do."

I slap his hand away. "Then stop talking about this! Nothing happened between us other than testosterone! So, stop trying to force your gay-ness onto me!"

The hurt on his face makes my heart hurt and tears slowly build up in my eyes.

I don't want to hurt him, but I can't help it. Things don't last forever and when Mark leaves me I don't think I will be able to get back on my feet. So it's better if I just end this right now while I still have the chance and not let my feelings grow more. Yeah, I have to do this for both of us 'cause I know that in the end, we both will hurt each other to our breaking point.

"Is that what you think of me?" Mark asks, tears building up in his beautiful lavender eyes. "I'm just a stupid faggot to you? I disgust you don't I? No wonder you hate me so much."

No, no, no. It's not true at all! I love you! I really love you!

I shrug, instead. "Thanks for finally getting the hint."

"Then explain the time you called me yours."

Shit...I forgot about that. I was hoping he would've forgotten that as well.

"That never happened." I say, frowning. "You must've dreamt it."

Hurt turns to rage as his tears begin to roll down his cheeks. "I'm sick and tired of your bullshit, Dan! How dare you ridicule me and call me a faggot! How dare you ignore everything that's happened between us!"

"How dare you try and force your way into my life! I was perfectly fine without you! I would've still been fine without you! I wouldn't've had to deal with all these irrelevant people!" I shout, equally pissed.

See this is what happens with me, I can't let people get close to me cause the closer they get and the more I love them, the more I hurt them. Just like I'm doing to Mark right now, I can see him breaking on the inside and it's killing me but I know this is nothing compared to what will happen when we get together and it doesn't work.