Haze | Demi Lovato

2

Demi

The plane ride was horrible. I cried the whole time, while Wilmer sat two rows behind me. At one point, I gathered myself up and shuffled to where he was sitting, staring pointedly out the window.

"I know you feel betrayed, and furious with me." I whispered, my lower lip trembling. "And I know that you hate me right now." I was fighting down sobs as he didn't deny my assumption. "But can you please... please just talk to me?" He didn't move. "Wilmer." I whimpered. "Please?" My voice cracked and broke. "Please. I just really need you right now. I need you to hold me."

He slowly turned his head and I withered underneath his icy glare. "You should go back to your seat." He spoke in a monotone voice. "We're landing soon."

I squeezed my eyes shut and turned back, walking to my seat and curling up again, wrapping my arms around myself for some form of comfort as I looked out the window, silent tears streaming down my cheeks.

We touched down in Illinois within an hour, where an escalade was waiting to pick us up. Wilmer got in the front seat, and I curled up in the back, hugging my knees to my chest and looking out the window. It took another forty-five minutes, but eventually we pulled into the familiar private road of Timberline Knolls.

"Come on." Wilmer ordered, impatiently waiting for me to get out of the car before slamming the door and walking towards the front doors of the building.

"Wilmer." I whispered, frozen in place as memories began coming to surface. I could feel an anxiety attack setting in. "I can't. Please don't-"

"Not another word." He cut me off, grabbing my wrist again to drag me into the lobby, leaving me to stumble along with his fast pace.

"Name?" The receptionist said brightly, her smile quickly faded when she saw the black fury rolling off of Wilmer.

"Demi Lovato."

Another crack went through my heart when he didn't add his last name like before, like he was ashamed I carried it.

"Okay." She typed on her computer. "We'll need to search the bag, so you can put it up here."

Wilmer set the bag on the counter. The receptionist checked every nook and cranny, then zipped it back up.

"Her room is 3-C. It's unlocked. Abby here can show you where it is and you two can say your goodbyes in private."

Wilmer shook his head. "I'm heading out now actually." He barely spared at glance at me. "Goodbye Demi."

What was left of my heart shattered into a million pieces as he shoved the bag into my arms before turning on his heel and walking out of the treatment center, not once looking back at me.

~*~

I sat on the floor, leaning against my bed later that night, my knees pulled to my chest as I sobbed. I didn't have a roommate, thankfully, so I didn't hold back. Loud, echoing, agonizing sobs ripped through my chest. Wilmer had left me without so much as a 'good luck'. He was cold, and heartless, and harsh when I was falling apart and needed him the most.

The door to my room opened and I saw one of the night-nurses poke her head in.

"Honey you've got to get into bed."

I just stared numbly at the wall, my body still shaking from crying so hard. She walked over and practically picked me up to get me into bed. Her touch was warm, and kind, but I wanted him. All I wanted fro him was touch, a hand on my back, or my cheek, a simple hug before he walked away. All I wanted right now was my husband, who didn't want me anymore.

~*~

Saturday. Thank God. I've been here for five days and I finally have a visitor's day. I've been in a state of numbness the whole time so far, I've barely said a word to my therapists. But today's visitor's day, and I get to see him.

Finally.

When my name came on the loudspeaker I practically ran to the front desk, but stopped short, my heart dropping into my stomach. I didn't see my tan, broad-shouldered, dark-haired husband, but my slight-framed mother, and my two sisters standing there.

"Where is he?"

They all turned at the sound of my voice and one look at me mom's face told me everything. The numbness quickly filled my body again.

"No." I whispered, wrapping my arms around my body. "He has to be here. I can't be in this place. I can't do this without him. I need him." My mom pulled me into a hug as I began to cry again, sobs wracked my body.

"Honey he just needs time to process."

"I've spent four days here." I cried. "Every second I'm thinking about him. I need him to do this. I need him to hold me and tell me it's all gonna be alright."

"I know sweetie. I know."

~*~

Wilmer

"It's not good Wilmer."

I rubbed my tired eyes. "I know that. I've talked to her doctors."

"You need to go see her."

"No." My answer was immediate, final. I'd learned a long time ago how to turn my feelings for Demi off when she needed tough love.

"Wilmer you don't understand. You have to go see her. She needs some sort of contact with you. I talked to the nurse... Wilmer she gets night terrors. Every single night, like clockwork."

I tried to tune out the ache in my chest. "She's not a child Dianna. She can handle herself."

"She wakes up screaming for you, for you, and then has a panic attack when the nurse is the one waking her up instead of you. You're the only person she wanted to see and was just broken when you didn't come today."

"She needs to know that things can't just go back to the way things were." I said, looking up at the ceiling.

"I know you think you're doing the right thing here... but Wilmer I really think you should just call her. None of us can go next Saturday. I feel horrible. She'll have no one."

I sighed. "Dianna I can't. It's too much."

"I know this sounds bad Wilmer, but you need to stop being selfish. You knew this could happen. She was an addict when you decided to marry her, and she'll always be one. You promised her you'd never do exactly what you're doing right now. You promise you'd never leave her. Wilmer... You walked away and never looked back."

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-Rachel