Haze | Demi Lovato

19

Demi

When we got home, I walked straight up to the bedroom. I stripped down, threw on one of Wilmer's shirts, and burrowed under the covers, intending on never resurfacing again.

Unfortunately, after a few minutes, I felt the bed dip and Wilmer leaned down to my ear. "Do you want me here?"

I bit my lip and hesitated, I wanted to be alone, but at the same I didn't want Wilmer to think I was mad at him.

When I didn't answer right away, Wilmer kissed my head and pulled back. "Let me know if you want to talk."

His footsteps faded away, and the moment the door shut I broke, the tears coming hard and fast. I didn't just cry for my mom. I let out all of the emotions I was feeling from the past week. I cried for my relationship with Wilmer. I cried for the child in me who was already hated by it's grandmother. I cried for the decision I would eventually have to make. To love him, or to hate him. Hating him would be easier, hating him would solve so many problems.

But I couldn't do it.

I couldn't let go of him now that we'd found each other again. I couldn't cut my ties and raise his child by myself. I could look into my child's eyes and see Wilmer and not be able to fall asleep to him every night. I loved him more than I could ever express. I loved him even though it wasn't sensible, or right. Even though no one approved of us I loved him with every part of my soul. Our lifelines had become so ensnared together it would be impossible to be free from him. His hooks were in me too deep, and my hooks in him.

Loving him was my only option.

It was the only option I could stand to picture. It would hurt, no doubt. It would takes years and years before I would be able to trust him again. But he was Wilmer, my best friend, and the person I had vowed to love and cherish for the rest of our lives.

I stood up and slowly walked to the door, in nothing but his t-shirt. I walked out to the hallway and down the stairs, finding him on the couch, with his head in his hands. I stopped in the doorway, biting my lip as I watched him.

"Wilmer?"

He turned, his gaze softening when he saw my swollen eyes and red nose. "Hey! I uh, I'm gonna make dinner soon. Anything you want, just name it. I'm gonna start laundry soon too, but uh..."

I wiped my face and sniffled, fingering the hem of the t-shirt. "Can you... Can you come lay down with me."

He nodded, quickly standing up. "Yeah! Sure, definitely."

I forced a smile and walked back upstairs, leaving him to follow behind me. I laid back down on the bed and waited for Wilmer to get under the covers before I snuggled into him, pushing my face into the crook of his neck.

"Demi I-"

"I didn't say I wanted to talk." I interrupted, and he fell silent. I sighed and lifted my head to look at him. He stared back nervously for a moment, and I ran my fingertips over his face, trailing over his eyebrows and jawline until they skimmed his lips. I leaned down and gently pressed my mouth against his; our first kiss in months. When I pulled away Wilmer's eyes were huge. "I made my decision." I breathed, keeping our faces close. "And I'm choosing you."

He swallowed hard, looking so relieved I wanted to cry all over again. "I love you." He choked out, his eyes getting misty too.

"I love you too."

I leaned down to kiss him again, this time with more force. Wilmer's hands slid up to my sides and he rubbed my back, letting me take the lead as I kissed him with more and more confidence. It felt good to kiss him, to touch him and feel him touching me. A part of me, deep down where I had hidden all of my emotions jolted. We had barely touched in months, so my body was slowly beginning to heat up, holes in my willpower were forming so sparks of desire floated through.