Remi Never Smiles ✔️

Chapter 11

~
Been sick lately
~

They were everywhere. The picture was printed out and put all around the school. In classrooms, on walls, in bathrooms, even on ceilings. It was absolutely mortifying. The image was permanently etched into my brain and not because of the happy memory that goes along with it. Everyone saw the picture of me and Luke. The half-naked picture of us in the lake. My scars were visible and everyone saw them. I was laughed at all day.

I was sitting on the ledge of my very tall school after the classes were finally over, contemplating whether or not I should finally jump. I always wanted to go out this way if I were to jump. Kill myself in the place that probably killed me inside the most. I think that's a little poetic.

Like always, part of me wants to stay for my brother and Nick and maybe even Luke. The other part wants me to finally rid myself of this life.

I heard the roof door creak open. I already knew who it wasn't, so I didn't bother to turn around. His voice filling the air confirmed my slight disappointment.

"Remi, why are you up here?" Luke whispered.

"I'm thinking," I replied, standing up on the ledge. I heard his breath hitch in his throat from behind me.

"About what, Rem?" He was trying to stay calm.

"Whether or not I should finally go..." I did a cartoon falling whistle. "Splat."

"Don't say things like that, please. Come down."

"Why should I, Luke? I'm not okay with this like you are."

"Remi, I'm not 'okay' with this. Someone invaded our privacy, took pictures, and put it everywhere. Who would be okay with something like that?"

I stayed silent, swaying gently to ready myself a bit.

I heard his breathing get faster. "Can you please get down? Think about this."

"I have been for years! Probably since birth! There isn't a single thing I can think that would make me not feel like this is the bes-"

I turn, losing my balance, my pulse quickening and a small yelp leaving my lips as I bend down quickly and grab the ledge tightly with both hands. My eyes are wide with tears and my breathing is heavy. Luke, saving the day like always, rushed over and helped me off of what would've been the place of my death.

"How'd you feel then, Remi?" he asked quietly. I could feel his heart pounding on my shoulder.

"Petrified," I whispered back.

"You didn't feel relieved?"

I shook my head, refusing to look at him.

"Then how can you possibly believe that that's how you get out of this?"

~

I was put on suicide-watch. Luke let me spend the night at his place while he repeatedly checked in on me.

"Luke, it's now 10 PM. I'm sleepy and I don't think you need to check on me anymore."

"Not until I'm positive you're okay." He sat at the edge of his bed, probably rethinking the event that happened 5 hours ago.

"Then you'll be checking on me for the rest of my life."

"I'm fine with that."

I plopped my head back against the pillow. "That probably won't be very long anyways."

"Not if I'm here."