Remi Never Smiles ✔️

Chapter 19

The four weeks is close to completed. The pills worked. All of the voices and the hallucinations were gone within the first couple of weeks. I miss her. I couldn't talk to anyone without her. She made me feel safe. Always trying to protect me from bad people. And now she's gone and it's all my fault.

I sleep all day. I feel too weak to try and overpower the drowsiness, especially since I've barely eaten. I haven't spoken more than 10 words to Arlo since I started the medication. I always had Ophelia there with me to distract me from the fact that I had no idea who she really was or what kind of person she could be. Those 'what ifs' scare me to death even more now than usual.

There's a knock against the door. The thought of it being Arlo comforted me a bit, but the chance that it could be a stranger terrified me. What if it's my mother coming to send me to another hospital? Or worse, to take me back to that godforsaken house?

"Come in," I mumble hesitantly.

The heavy door creaks open and a nurse I haven't seen before comes in. She's holding a tray with some water and some pills in a small plastic cup on it along with a clipboard in her other hand.

"Um," she begins. "Miss Higgins?"

I nod slowly.

"Sorry, I'm new here. Nurse Robinson. This is your last round of the quetiapine fumarate for your... possible schizophrenia." Her eyes widened a bit, almost a nonexistent amount, the name of my apparent 'illness' surprising her. "What's 'possible' supposed to mean?"

The hell if I know. She hands the cup of water and the pill to me. The pasty white pill. This is it. I can tell the doctor that I want to stay empty/normal inside forever on this medication or that I want to stay with the 'demons' plus Ophelia without it.

I down it almost immediately, happy that this trial was over, but conflicted on whether or not I want to live the rest of my life this way. I mean, it was only four weeks. Who's to say that help from Mikey, Luke, and etc. won't change the emptiness I feel? Who's to say that I can't choose this medication and some others along the way to help me cope as well? But what if I don't progress at all without Ophelia? What if I can't continue to live on my own without her and I have to stay here in this sad place forever?

"Miss Higgins?"

I look up. The nurse is still here for some very odd reason. "Yeah?"

"Are you going to head down to the visiting area today?"

"What?" I looked around for the calendar that Arlo insisted on putting up. "It's Visiting Day already?"

"Yes, ma'am. And someone's here for you. I'd thought you'd like to see something other than these four walls."

I hesitate, but end up nodding again. If it was Luke waiting for me, then I would most definitely want to see him again. I feel like he's on the verge of leaving me to better his life, which he should absolutely do in my opinion. I'm like a cinder block tied to him, dragging him down and keeping him from being a regular teenager. He should be able to live his life.

I make my way down the hallways and into the room where I almost accidentally killed myself not too long ago. Lo and behold, Luke is sitting at a table, dressed in his swim team hoodie and some blue jeans with holes in the knees. His curls made a special appearance today along with an unshaven face and tired eyes that light up a smidge when we make eye contact. He gets up to hug me, having to lean down a great amount like usual and squeezing me as tightly as he could without killling me or hurting me.

"Hi," he greets with the smile I love before letting me go and sitting back down.

"Salutations," I say back. "What have I missed in the real world?"