Remi Never Smiles ✔️

Chapter 20

*trigger warning: graphic scenes

It's been 3 more months, but my treatment is complete. I've learned how to handle the medication better (pretty much by adding more to the equation), and now I am "stable" and fit to leave. I decided to transfer out of school into online classes. I managed to get all of the credits I need to pass this year. Not only am I going home, but I'm free of everything stressing me.

I step out of the facility for the first time since I hit my head and take a deep breath. Mentally stable is a lovely feeling. I text Arlo about how truly fresh free air is.

My mother is already at the car waiting for me. I can tell she's annoyed by how long I take to reach the vehicle, but I couldn't care less. I'm free from the burden of being in a mental institution, and that's worth celebration. Plus, I get to see Mikey and my Luke.

Hearing the tires roll against the gravel driveway sends me into a small fit of tears. I really made it. I can't help but to think about how far I've come. I'm proud of myself. I pushed through, and I made it.

45 minutes pass, and I'm home. I unlock the door and get out while she's parking, sparking some annoyance within my mother once more. She seems even more worn out than usual. I have no choice but to worry.

Grabbing my suitcase out of the trunk, I race to the door and into the house only to be severely disappointed. Broken picture frames, shards of glass on the floor, the works. What happened?

I forget my belongings downstairs to find my brother. I've never ran so fast. I find him curled up in a ball on the floor of the bathroom, crying softly. The medicine cabinet stands wide open, and there's an opened box of bandages on the edge of the sink.

"Mike."

He looks up at me, his face destroyed by a large bruise covering his left cheek and a busted lip. He was in the middle of bandaging his arm. I drop to the floor and wrap him up in my arms. He's back. She let him back into the house.

I dial a number I should've called ages ago. The abuse hotline. I file a report as fast as the operator would let me. I tell her everything I can think of. I'm told that they're sending units out as we speak.

Everything happens so fast. Mom's put in a squad car in cuffs. Michael and I get asked question about our household. Dad comes home to see cops everywhere. He threatens us and the social worker that's questioning us. He's taken away too. We're dropped off at our aunt's home after being threatened with foster care. She gladly takes us in even though she hasn't seen us in years. It all happened so fast.

Weeks go by and we have to go through trial. Dad was found guilty of the abuse and was sent to prison for 12 years. Mom got away, but was to move out of the county. Nobody explained, but we got to stay with our aunt Casey for a bit longer. She became our legal guardian after a long process, but it finally happened.

As fast as everything changed, the way that this all settled happened faster. Mikey was doing better in a different school with a fresh start. I was mentally healthier, going to group therapy sessions with Mike. Luke stood by our side throughout everything, and I feel like our relationship is stronger than ever. Everything was going so well.

Until Nellie called.

"Hello?"

"I need help. I don't know who else to call. He hasn't been out of his room in two days. He doesn't answer me when I call his name. I can't find the key to his lock. Mom's out of town. Please, Remi. Help him. Please."

"I'm on my way."

It's midnight when I take Casey's car, leaving a note for her to find. I break enough traffic laws to get me at least a year's worth of community service, but I get there. The front door's unlocked, and I see Nell at the top of the stairs outside of Nick's door. She's whispering questions at the door, getting nothing in response.

I move her out of the way, so I can jiggle the knob. It doesn't budge, but I didn't expect it to.

I start knocking. "Nick, it's me. Please open up. We're worried."

No answer.

I knock again. "Nicky, come on."

As the silence continues, my panic increases. I knock louder, pounding on the door now. "Unlock the door. Nick, open up."

I'm yelling now, screaming his name every time my fist hits the door.

"You're scaring me, Nick. Open up, or I'm coming in." Still no answer. "Nellie, go downstairs and call 911, okay?"

"But-"

"Now. Keep calm and answer everything they ask. Give them the address."

She nods, following orders. I start throwing myself at the door. Once, twice, three times. I ignore the excruciating pain in my shoulder, determined to push through this door. I ran my body into the door for about the 7th time before I finally get it open.

Every time I find someone, they're on the floor.

He's covered in his comforter, but it looks like he dragged it off the bed with him. I go over to him with relief.

"Nick, you scared m-"

As I go to touch him, I realize how cold he is.

"Nicky?"

I roll him over, and start screaming. His skin is blue and grey. He's covered in vomit. There are empty pill bottles underneath him. I can only see the whites of his eyes. There's a letter on the floor next to his head.

I'm sorry. That's all I can say. I'm sorry that I gave up. I'm sorry that I broke our promise. I'm sorry that I betrayed you, Rem. I'm sorry I couldn't be the one to make you smile. I'm selfish, but I couldn't handle this guilt anymore. I'm to blame. I did everything. I'm so sorry. I stalked you and Luke. I took the pictures of you at the lake. I put them all over school. I'm the one that found your dad again. I brought him back into your life a little bit before you were supposed to be released because I was angry. Angry that I could never make you as happy as Luke could. I just wanted to make you feel as hurt as I did. I never meant to take it that far. I never meant to hurt Michael. I never wanted to hurt you all. I'm sorry. It's all my fault. I love you all. I'm sorry, Nellie. I'm sorry, Mom. I'm sorry, Mikey. I'm sorry, Luke. I'm sorry, Remi-Rainbow. I wish I could change everything.

"No, no, no. Nick. Wake up. Please. Wake up. You're okay. Wake up."

I try to pull him up, but all I can manage to do is put his head in my lap. He's too stiff for me to move him.

The sirens are blaring outside of the house. I hear Nellie leading people up to the room. She starts screaming too once she gets there.

"Nicholas, get up. You have to wake up. You have to wake up for me. Please. I forgive you. Please, just get up.

Before I can get him to answer me, someone is pulling me off of him. They pull both his sister and I out into the hallway. I let her collapse into my arms. She's letting out bloodcurdling screams. Paramedics run up the stairs with all sorts of equipment only to leave with a body bag.

Everything happened so fast.