𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐌𝐄 ↠ 𝐓𝐨𝐦 𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝

chapter 13: poetic taste

“How is it that music can, without words, evoke our laughter, our fears, our highest aspirations?” ― Jane Swan

☆☆☆☆

Song for chapter:

Halsey - Ashley

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THERE are things in life that can't be explained. Like, why was Neil Armstrong the first to land on the moon? It could have been anyone. Why do we search for things that can't be found? What drives us to do things we can't explain? Why can't I cook? Why did bad things happen to me? Why, out of all people, did I meet Austin?

Everything happens for a reason. I've always heard that. My mother has told me that since birth. When things didn't work out the way I planned, she would tell me "it happened for a reason". I would get mad and not understand what she meant.

Three weeks have passed and the more and more each day goes by, the more I think of those questions. As I sit here, I think about all of that running through my head while I eat my potato chips at the lunch table I occupy.

Austin strolls by with his lunch plate. He's been doing this everyday since we've had the play. He use to sit with me on certain days, then his friends. Now it's everyday. I look up from my book to watch him take a seat.

"What are you reading?" he says, happier than usual. His smile is very wide, like he's definitely forcing it.

"The Maze Runner?" I answer suspiciously, questioning his quirky mood.

"That's great!" he exclaims. "You look great today. Did you do something new with your hair? I love the eye shadow. And you have great taste in books." He hasn't touched his plate of food, only crossing his arms on the table.

I place a hand on my page, determined to get to the bottom of this. "Okay, what's up?"

"Whatever do you mean?" he asks quizzically.

"You want something. What is it? You're nice, but not this nice."

"Um," he says, looking behind him at Emily and Clare, while they look back at us.

Austin turns back to me, becoming afraid of what he's fixing to say. "Can they....um..come sit with us?" he asks anxiously.

"No," I say sternly.

Austin slouches his shoulders, sighing loudly. "Come on, they won't bother you," he says.

"This is my table. I've already gotten use to you sitting with me but I'm definitely not adding more people to  my table! Go back over there if you want to sit with them so bad." I place a chip in my mouth and crunch on it loudly.

"I will if you come with me."

"I'm not moving," I state. "Now, shoo. I'm trying to read."

Austin shakes his head. "No, you have two choices. You come over there and sit with us, or Emily and Clare come over here."

I slam my book shut. "You know, for a guy with a 4.0 average, you sure don't know that the word no means," I say.

He slams his head on the table in exhaustion of the constant bickering.  "You're so introverted," he says, his voice slight muted with his head down.

"You of all people should know that," I say matter-of-factly.  "Why all the sudden do they want to come over here?"

Lifting his head up and running a hand through his hair, he says "It's not all of the sudden. They've been wanting to. I just had to ask you first."