𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐌𝐄 ↠ 𝐓𝐨𝐦 𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝

chapter 8: facing fear

"The only real prison is fear, and the only real freedom is freedom from fear." - Aung San Suu Kyi

☆☆☆☆
Song for chapter:

Alice Boman - What Are You Searching For

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"MY mother passed away not to long ago," Gale says. Doctor James asked her to speak about her situation. She's a tall woman, light brown hair wrapped in a bun. She stands in front of her chair with her arms cupped in front of her stomach.

"I didn't know what to do with myself. She was everything to me. I felt like I lost all that I had and I could never come back from it. I was like that for a few years. Endless nights of loneliness and bad dreams. I started coming here and along with therapy, it showed me a new way of life. I am happy now, I have a boyfriend, I have a dog," she smiles. "Everything I had thought I wouldn't get, I did. Depression made me stronger. I will never forget my mom and I never lost her. She was and always will be in my heart."

Always in my heart.

"I guess the moral of the story is that things do get better. But what the toughest part is that we face is acceptance. We-We run from our problems, hide them away, because it's too painful. But once you allow yourself to feel pain, to feel sorrow, you allow yourself to grieve and ultimately heal," she says, looking around the room at all of us, particularly her green eyes landing on me. "Acceptance is key. And once you accept what happened, then you will be able to move on."

We all clapped, my hands slowly coming together to give her applause. She sits down, settling in her chair.

"Couldn't have said it better myself Gale," Doctor James says.

It's Saturday, and I once again was forced to come here by my parents. It wasn't against my will this time. I only groaned and simply got in the car. A small part of me wanted to be at the support group. It wasn't as bad as I thought.

"You know you can share your story anytime you want," Austin whispers in my ear. Our chairs are so close that my shoulder touches his.

"You'd like that wouldn't you?" I whispered back.

"It would answer my questions."

"Some questions aren't meant to be answered. Only discovered or lost."

"There you go being poetic."

"Can't help myself."

And older man talks about his cancer story. I feel like I'm in a remake of The Fault in Our Stars. Except I'm no Hazel Grace Lancaster and no one in my life is Augustus Waters.

Austin takes me home after the support group. I hesitated when he asked but I didn't feel like arguing further with him.

"Have you found your solution yet?" he asks. "Like an outlet?"

"Nope."

"Just keep looking."

He pulls in my driveway and walks me to my door. Before I put the key in, my mom opens the door.

"Hello, sweetie," she greets, her eyes automatically looking at Austin.

"Hey, mom," I mutter, hating when she calls me "sweetie" in front of people.

"And who is this?" she askes while smiling at Austin next to me.

"Mom, this is Austin. Austin, this is my mom," I introduce.