𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐌𝐄 ↠ 𝐓𝐨𝐦 𝐇𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝

chapter 1: new beginnings

"Nostalgia is a side effect of dying." - John Green

☆☆☆☆
Song for chapter:

Twenty One Pilots - Hometown

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MOUNTMEN high school. Supposedly the best high school in Weston, Missouri. The overall school average is an A. Known for their sports and academic achievements, my parents insisted that I should start my high school days here.

While patiently waiting for my nerves to get the best of me so this anxiety attack will blow over before I start my day, I fiddle with the string on my red hoodie. Sometimes I wish I could go back to being an innocent child, not having a clue of what pain and sadness the world holds in the future. I feel more as a chess pawn and I'm playing my part in this stupid world.

The only thing I'm happy about is that I'm a junior now. And that means I'm getting closer and closer to leaving high school, which I like to refer to as a hell hole, loserville, a lava filled volcano, or whatever I feel like calling it on specific days.

My mom got a promotion in her career of marine biology, so we picked up and moved to Weston. The drive here was long, almost 12 hours due to traffic, which made me have a lot of time to think. I wasn't upset really at all about us moving from our home state, Minnesota.

I miss my small group of friends, especially Lacey who is my best friend, but I can honestly say I won't miss a lot of the things that happened back in Minnesota.

The whole time I was there, like I said before, I'm was just a chessboard piece, and everyone was making the moves for me on the board instead of me taking control. I learned the hard way that life is a game. A sad, sadistic, tragic game and you're just the puppet on strings being directed by your every move.

Walking in the front of the school doors, my anxiety remains in the back corner of my brain. Looking around, I see a bunch of idiotic teenagers, socializing and filling the hall with noise. They all look the same always trying to buy what's in style at the moment to fit in with the crowd, same hairstyles, same robotic personalities to match others.

I'm glad I'm a loner. It means I don't have to sacrifice what self-esteem I have left of being who I am. I take notice of a few people making eye contact with me, knowing they haven't seen me around before. This was something I was afraid of. Everyone likes to see who the "new" girl is. But they won't get that satisfaction.

I keep walking down the hall, turning at the corner and seeing more people than before mingling against their lockers or walking past me down the hall in mid-conversation with their friends.

I'm happy that I don't fit in. Being just like everyone else is boring. Being me is well worth it.

The bell rings five minutes later. I take my schedule out of my pocket and head to the theater class which is listed first. I didn't really make my schedule. With my family moving on such short notice and with me beginning the new year as a junior, the school counselor just looked at my records and saw what courses I needed to take and put two other extra-curricular classes on the schedule to finish it off.

The next four hours were hell of course. It's the new year for everyone so it's not like I'm spotted out as being the new kid who started in the middle of the year, which is unwanted attention that I definitely didn't want or need.

In each class, I sat in the back with my arms crossed, looking out the window while the teachers gave lectures about the rules and the supplies we needed for the class. The first day of school of every year isn't really important. So with the teachers yapping their mouths, I took time to daydream. Anything to get me out of here quicker.