Depressed Doll II-The Origin

Memories (rewritten)

Finally saturday.
I didn't have to leave my room and face another miserable day. I went to my bathroom, took a bath and after that i dressed a black shirt, black leggins and black boots, nothing special...
As I walked again to my room, I realized that Omea was nowhere to be found but, before I started panicking, I called for him and he came from under the bed, I sighed in relief, I an't imagine how my lfe would be if I lost Omega...
I sat on my bed taking a look at my draws and saw the one of yesterday, the Mary one, I really have time to do anything...

I began thinking of her for a while and of how much I envy her life but then my thoughts were interrupted by Omega sitting next to me, it looked like he wanted to tell me something but then he hid under the bed and then I heard a knock on the door "you there, niece?"my uncle asked "don't bother me, go away" I ordered rudely, he ignored and tried opening the door but I locked it last night and I wasn't planning on ever opening it, after all, I won't be leaving my room "just leave me alone already!" I exclaimed of annoyance "I wanted to give you a cake since you ate nothing last night" he said but I didn't reply, I thought he would go away if i just ignored him and it worked.

I just sat in the silence of my room as I remembered the times I was younger, those times before I starte starving myself, I really enjoyed being with my uncle when I was younger, that is... Before a certain "accident" that scarred my life, an accident that made me see that people are not what they appear to be...
When I was 9, my uncle visited my family for Christmas and stayed until the 2nd january but, between one of those nights... I don't remember when... My uncle came into my room, sat on my bed and even had the nerves to wake me up and tried to touch me in places he shouldn't; I was pissed off and scared that he had woken me up that late at night already and, once I realized what he was trying to do, I felt even more scared (I was aware of abuse, violence and rape).

I tried to pull him away but I was only nine, I was just a weak kid so my attempts were useless, but then, just as I was about to loose all my hope, a dark figure appeared and dragged him away, at least... That's what I remember...

All I know is that my parents never knew about it, my uncle was smart and didn't say anything, none of us said anything to anyone and I'm not planning to, people would probably just call me a slut, attention whore, etc...

I'm still questioning, what was that dark figure that dragged him out of my room that night? Was it the same weird-looking woman I saw yesterday? who is that creature and what exactly is it? why did she give me that chocolate when I was almost fainting or dying? I kept my mind filled with all the unanswered doubts that probably never will be answered so I could keep my mind away from the misery ...
Maybe I was just seeing things... Or maybe I was just passed out and had a dream where a woman-looking creature was giving me chocolate... How funny, like a creature like that one was going to give me chocolate...
I kept on thinking about that woman until I remembered that Omega ate nothing the whole morning and that he was meowing at me, I was certain he was hungry... I snapped out of my thoughts, stood up and putted some food on the bowl I had bought 4 years ago.
Omega looked healthy, although he was not as fat as the cats that I see every day in the streets while I walk at school, I wished I could understand him and know if he was fine but I don't... One thing I knew for sure was that he ate more than me, after all, I barely ate these years, I don't know how I survived just eatin all this shit...

Sometimes I thought I was better off dead but I never had strenght to point a knife to my chest or wrists so I just waited for death to get to me but it never came...why? I don't know, it probably isn't my time or whatever...

After putting food in Omega's bowl, I layed back on my bed facing the ceiling, I really don't do much, and saw the memories of my horrible past; I saw my amazing childhood burst into Hell's flames, it's like... I've lost thousands of years...All these years look more than they really are, all these miserable years are like... A thousand years...

As I remembered all these bad moments I went through all my life, I could feel the tears run throuh my cheeks... I was just sick... Why won't death just come and take me away?

I hugged my knees cause I began shivering, I was super cold... But... I'm used to it... Because this is what I feel... I feel the depression take over my body like ice freezing my body, no matter how many clothes I wore...

I couldn't do anything else so I just stayed like that, crying for hours again... Until I felt peaceful... It feels like I let go of all the pain I went through for a second, the pain slowly faded and turned into something good... I felt calm, took some deep breaths and let my now heavy eyes close... I was in peace... But I fought that relaxation and opened my eyes, although I found it a good time to sleep, but I decided not to.

 I don't like to sleep during day, it's a waste of precious time... So, I began writting more of my stories, listened to music and watched some videos but then, my activities were interrupted by Omega's meows, I looked to see where was and I found him next to my closed window, it was night already, I know he wanted to leave... Well, who wouldn't want to leave this place? I want to leave this miserable place as well, but I have nowhere to stay... 

Of course, I wasn't going to keep Omega inside, I didn't want to keep him captive and to live this miserable life with me... Maybe he wanted to go to the spot where I found him, maybe he did have a family that loved him after all... So I opened the window "you can go, Omega..." I said, he left without hesitation, jumped to a tree near my window and got down.

I looked to where he was heading and I saw that he just jumped to the woman's shoulder, who I could tell that was staring at me, how long has she been there? I asked to myself but then she was gone, there was no sight of her or Omega either... maybe again, I was seeing things so I snapped out and turned my attention to what I was doing before but left the window opened in case Omega decided to come back... In which I doubt....
I saw as it was getting late and realized that maybe... Omega wasn't coming back but I still had my hopes and left the window opened.

I layed on my bed under the covers and thought about Omega, he was the only friend I had after all... And now... He left... Maybe he won't come back... Who would want to come back to such a freak like me with such a miserable life? No one... I sighed and closed my eyes, then I fell asleep.