Depressed Doll II-The Origin

im not going anywhere...I don't belong here...

monday....
worst day ever.....
i had the biggest frown in my face like all mondays...i hate mondays,why? because is the first day of the week...and i have to try my hard to ignore Mandy(Mary's best friend)again for the whole week....i think i should be quiet about what happened last night and maybe keep my insults inside or i'll be the one suffering with them...yes, i fear Mandy much more than my family...she's more evil and she is the one who causes me problems, one day she told everyone that i beated her, luckily i was too young to be arrested but of course she was lying, why would i do such a thing? because she's a bitch but i didn't do that and everyone ended up forgetting it.
i was again walking to my class when i saw Mandy again, she began bullying me again but i just looked down and tried to walk away but she pushed me to the same spot i was before and kept bullying me, i was just facing the floor not blinking once,i was just standing there looking sad to the ground like a sad doll while hearing her insults
man i wanted to jump on her...
but then i heard the bell ring and walked to my class, the teacher asked where Mary was and i looked to her seat to see that she wasn't there, she was never late for classes, she uses to be in class after me and before Mandy, meaning she was the second reaching the class, if she wasn't there that meant only one thing "she's sick"Mandy said.
the day was a mess and the worst part was lunch time....
Mandy and her group of friends came at me and i knew it wasn't good thing..."where's my money?"she asked, i looked down still sad"where is it?" she asked again "i don't have any..."i said, one of her friends pushed me against the wall and another helped him pinning me against it, Mandy told a third guy what to do to me, he slapped, punched, kicked me...i can't even tell what else he did to me, i can tell that i was crying really hard and i had not only pain in my body but also in my heart, it was like it was cutted to pieces while inside me...when they left, i layed on the floor crying and bleeding...i was in so much pain and wanted to end with my life so i weakily picked the piece of mirror i got last night when i was in the supermarket yesterday and cutted my wrists "Smiley Mask....i cant hang this anymore..." i whispered and before fainting i stabbed my stomach.
i woke up in the hospital with a lot of doctors around me,then i sat up"you're lucky you're alive, miss, you almost died"one of them said, i sat up and cried, the doctors left me alone.
when i stopped crying i looked down to my hands which were resting on my lap still sad and a nurse came in "why have you done that to yourself?"she asked "hey...if i was dead...do you think someone would remember me?"i asked, she just looked surprised, i stood up still looking down"w-where are you going?"she asked"im not going anywhere,there's nothing here..."i said, picked my clothes and walked out of the room, i went to the bathroom and dressed my clothes which were still bloody but i didn't have anymore clothes to dress and then i walked away to my parents house.

im not going anywhere..
I don't belong here...

when i walked in, my parents just stared at me and i walked to my room while i looked down and locked the door behind me.
Mighty was sitting on my bed looking at me,i sat next to him and petted him,he was worried and i could tell it when he stared at me, he looked sad...but i just kept looking at him, not blinking, i didn't blink since i finished crying in the hospital...when i stopped petting him i got black jeans, a purple shirt and red shoes and walked to the bathroom.
after taking off my clothes i looked to the full body mirror i had in the bathroom and realized i had a wound on my left cheek,on my stomach,on both wrists and on my right leg and my pupils left my dark brown eyes and i got shocked while i cried.
i took a bath and dressed the clothes i had prepared earlier and again looked at the mirror while i cried, i couldn't see the wounds with the clothes but then i looked to the reflection on the mirror, my eyes were red without pupils and showing no emotion,my frown was large like a sewn cheshire frown and then"kill them all" appeared with blood on the mirror,i left the bathroom running, layed on my bed and cried until i fell asleep.